By Angie T.
The tape player hissed and crackled with white noise before it clicked and a mellow voice filled the room.
"Hey, uh, Jim. If you are listening to this I guess I must have forgotten to duck at the right time. Or got into something I shouldn't have. 'Cuz I am sure I hid this tape well enough that you wouldn't find it unless you were going through my stuff and I know you wouldn't do that without a reason.
"This is so weird, man. It must be weird for you to listen to, huh? Voices from beyond the grave and all that. I know things must be hard for you right now. You probably blame yourself. You shouldn't. I always knew I could count on you and there is no way that you didn't do all you could to save me. Man, speaking about myself in past-tense. Like I said -- weird.
"I want you to know that I'm not afraid of death. I have cheated it so many times that I can count every day I have had for the last fifteen years as a bonus... extra time. I'm gonna tell you a secret, Jim. Man, I can't believe I'm telling you this. When I was twelve, I was diagnosed with cancer. Had to do the whole chemo bit. It was hard and I almost didn't make it. That's when I got into meditation. The doctors didn't encourage me but I guess they thought it couldn't hurt. Strange thing was, Jim, that it *did* help. The pain was less, and I could actually *eat* something after meditating. Worst thing for me was losing my hair. I was just hitting puberty and I was bald. Felt so out of place, you know? That's one of the reasons I like it long, even though it can be a pain.
"Point is, that after the cancer went into remission, I felt like I had been given a second chance. The kind most people don't get until they have retired and are too old to really *use* the insight they are given by it. I figured, "Hey! You are lucky to be alive, don't sit around on your ass wasting this time!" You know how it is with cancer, Jim. Even after a remission, there is always a chance that it will come back. So I eat carefully, meditate and try to live each day like it could be my last.
"Guess that's why I get on people's nerves. I am determined that I am not going to waste a day I have left on this Earth. Jim, I don't want anyone, especially you sitting around moaning {affecting Yiddish accent} "Oy, he was so young! He had so much ahead of him!" {quiet laugh} I have done more in the past 10 years or so than most people do in their entire lives!
"And Jim, that's what I want you to do. Live, man! Go camping, laugh alot, play poker with the guys, make love with some one, travel, hell Jim, I don't care what it is you do. Just do it like I was there doing it with you... well, except maybe the making love part. {chuckle}
"And about the Sentinel thing, man. I am kinda worried about that. On the other side of this tape I am going to record what I would say if I were guiding you out of a zone-out. I am also going to tape a bit about how to reach your spiritual center... like we did to get your senses back. Copy that side for Simon, so that he can guide you out if necessary.
"I do want you to try to go to your spiritual center not long after you hear this. I know, you probably are going to put it off and try to avoid it. Do it as a favor to me. If there is any way to communicate from this side, I am going to do my best and *you* are going to need to be open for it.
"Well, I think this has gone on long enough. Jim, I ... I just want to say, man, that you mean a hell of alot to me. You're like the father, the big brother, the best friend that I never had and I *needed* so much! My only regret is that I didn't know you years earlier. Damn!! Now, *I'm* crying. {sniffle}
"Which definitely means it's time to stop this cuz you're going to be home soon and I don't want you to wonder what's up.
"Tell my mother I loved her. Tell Simon and the guys I said hello and consider yourself bearhugged.
"And, Jim. Be careful, okay? and take care of yourself!
"I love you."
The machine clicked off and the only sound to be heard in the quiet loft was the sound of muffled sobs.
"Love you, too Sandburg. " whispered the man on the couch. "Love you too."
End
Author's Comments: I don't like reading death stories. I never thought I would write one, but you have to listen to your muse. There are two other stories in this trilogy. This is the first. The second story is Legacy: Prequel. You CAN read it first, but I feel the stories have more impact in this order. The third story is Legacy: Gift of Life and takes place, time-wise, after Legacy.