Mulder and Scully are CC's but I trust I didn't do them any harm...and suing me won't get ya anything you really wanna have, so save your time.
Warnings -- SongFic; M/S UST
Rating:G

And So It Goes....

        He was in a misty place, a moor.  He could hear Scully talking,
but didn't could understand what she was saying. The content of her words
seemed less important than the fact that she was speaking to him.  She
appeared out of the mist and stood there, a few yards away.  She fell
silent then and just looked at him, expectantly.  He started to walk
toward her, then realized that something had a hold on his arm and
wouldn't let him go to her.

        He longed to be with her.  She looked lonely and lost.  But the
harder he tried to go to her, the tighter the hold on him became.  He
looked behind him to see what was holding onto him.  He realized that two
people were restraining him, one on each arm.  The mist shrouded their
faces, at first.  As he shouted at them to let him go, their faces became
clear.  One was a young woman.  He knew it was Samantha.  The other face
was more familiar.  It was his own face.

        He looked around at Scully again.  He saw her gliding away from
him, slowly.  As the mist gathered around her, he knew that he had lost
her.  She was gone, never to return to him.

--------------------------

        Mulder started the CD player.  The apartment was just too quiet.
He loaded 5 discs into the changer, hit "shuffle" on it and began the
tedious task of sorting the mountain of laundry.

        He really wasn't in a good mood today.  He had woken up feeling
decidedly edgy.  Probably due to the dream.  It really hadn't been a
nightmare...just disturbing in its imagery.  His subconscious was really
giving him a kick in the pants, he supposed, but he wasn't sure what he
should do about it.  Or even if he should do anything about it.

        He reviewed the dream, which still remained vivid.  Not much
subtlety there.  Even without his training he would have known what the
dream meant.

        "So you think this is love?
        So tell me, how bad do you want it?
        how bad do you want it?"

        The song grabbed his attention.  His subconscious mind really had
been working on him this morning to have caused him to put that CD in.

        "So you put a hold on happiness...
        A day, a week, a year."

        He fell into thought again, tuning the music out.  How long was he
going wait to tell her how he felt?  Would he put it off until she
disappeared into the mist, out of his life?

        "How bad do you want it?
        How bad do you want it?
        Not bad enough!!"

        The song faded away, and he pondered the last phrase.  Maybe he
didn't want the happiness enough to take the chance.  But he knew that was
wrong.  He did want it.  He was just afraid.  He didn't want to let her in
and then be hurt.  She might not want him.  Or she would get tired of him
and find someone else.  And that would hurt more.

        Another song began in the background, finished, then another
started. He sorted the clothes automatically, separating them into cloth
laundry bags to be taken down to the laundry room.

        He respected her.  He needed to know how she felt.  He felt a
resolve building in him.  He would tell her.  He had to.  He would give
her the choice and would live with the decision. Suddenly the edgy feeling
was gone.

         Mulder grabbed a soda from the fridge and sat down on the couch,
analyzing his newfound resolve.  As he leaned back, the next song began
and he found the words comforting him somehow.

        
       "In every heart there is a room.
        A sanctuary safe and strong
        to heal the wounds from lovers past
        until a new one comes along."

        He had certainly locked up his hurt from Phoebe and Kristen in that
tiny room inside.  It was part of the reason he was afraid to let Dana in.

        "I spoke to you in cautious tones.
        You answered me with no pretense
        And still I feel I said too much.
        My silence is my self defense."



        Cautious tones.  That  was an understatement.  He had distrusted
her and she had met that distrust head on ...with "no pretense".  That was
Dana, all right.

        Silence, his self defense.  "God," he thought, "did Billy Joel
write this song with me in  mind or what?"  And the silence could make him
lose Dana.  His worst mistake ever.

        "And every time I've held a rose
        It seems I only felt the thorns
        And so it goes, and so it goes
        And so will you soon, I suppose"
        

        Yeah, he would lose her if things remained the way they were.  And he couldn't forgive
himself if she left, without ever knowing how he felt...without him
knowing how she felt.

        "But if my silence made you leave
        Then that would be my worst mistake
        So I will share this room with you
        And you can have this heart to break."

        That was it of course.  He would present it to her.  Tell her how
he felt.  And leave the decision up to her.  Even if the answer broke his
heart.

        His decision made, he picked up the phone.

        "Scully?  It's me.  Are you busy?"

END

Sponsored by: Ashley's Sex Toys and Adult Video Store