Of course, he'd been waiting for the wrong phone to ring. Bodie
almost jumped when the noise came from his right instead of his left.
Frantically, he grabbed his mobile, pressing the button before really
thinking what he would say.

"Bodie."

Silence for a moment, then Ray said, "Yeah, I thought so."

A trifle nonplussed, Bodie frowned, "Any particular reason?"

"I had a feeling I would be able to hear the truth in the first word
you spoke. Turns out I was right."

Swallowing, Bodie tried to keep his sudden nerves from his voice,
"It's nice to hear your voice, sunshine. How's things?"

"You rotten lying bastard. Don't you dare play the innocent with me
now - of all times!"

"But…"

"Oh, I can just imagine your face right now. The picture of
innocence. How could you do it, Bodie? How?"

"I'm sorry, Alan, I have no idea what you're talking about." Bodie
tried the stiff response - but failed completely when he heard a low
growl of laughter at the other end of the phone. Rather pathetically,
his heart started again.

After a little while, Ray's laughter subsided and for long exhausting
seconds, he said nothing at all. Then, "I just need one question
answered right now. The rest can wait for later."

Ready, Bodie nodded, "What?"

"Did you just do it for me?"

Now silence reigned on Bodie's end and for a second, he really
couldn't find a short reply.

"Bodie?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Look… Alan, so what if I did? It's the right thing
to do - for the drugs program, for CI5 - for the damned country. So
what if it's also the right thing for us. I mean, it is the right
thing for us, isn't it?" Suddenly unsure, he waited breathlessly.

"Of course it bloody well is, you idiot! That's not the point."

"You're afraid it will make it harder to keep us a secret, is that
it?"

"You know it will - but again, that's not the point."

Settling back into his seat, Bodie propped his feet up on the top of
the radiator. "And would sir care to tell me what the point is?"

When Ray's voice came back again, it was quiet, solemn and a little
husky, "It's a bloody big job. I'm not sure I can do it."

Bodie smiled, "Would I have dropped you in it if I didn't think you
could do it?"

"Yeah, but you're biased."

"Again, I ask, so what? Besides, it's not just my opinion now, is
it?"

"No." This came reluctantly and again Bodie was left hanging, waiting
for the next question. "Bodie, are you sure about this? About us, I
mean. If I'm in London, we'll see each other more but… do you think
we can take that much pressure? What if it doesn't work out between
us? What if I'm no good at the job? What if we find we can't work
together any more? What if…"

Bodie sat silently and let the questions run out all by themselves.
Unpredictable in so many areas, Ray was the exact opposite in others.
"Like I said six months ago, we'll make it work - and let's face it,
we'll have a much better excuse for spending time together than
before. In the long run, it will actually make it easier for us to
keep the secret than before."

"Yeah," again, the voice was subdued. Then, surprisingly, he added,
"Bodie, I do love you, you know that?"

"Sure, sunshine, I know that."

"I'd better go. Crimmond is waiting for an answer."

"Call me tonight?"

"Yeah, maybe. I'll see how it goes. Bye."

And then he was gone and for the first time, Bodie began to worry
that he'd done the wrong thing after all.

*

For ten long minutes, Cade sat with his back to his desk, staring out
the window, the phone still in his hands. Then he made one more phone
call, to Elena, this time. He didn't tell her anything in particular;
he just wanted to hear her voice, just to make sure that he was
making the right decision. It would affect her just as much as anyone
else. But he had to be sure. Because once Crimmond came back in,
there would be no going back, no changing his mind, no hope of rescue
if it all went wrong.

When he was finished, he called Crimmond back in and stood by the
table, a pen in his hand. Crimmond raised an eyebrow.

"And?"

"How binding is this contract?"

"In itself, completely. As you can see, there are plenty of clauses
to the affect that specific details of the new Division are still to
be worked out."

"Why?"

"Because we assumed you would want to be making a few of the new
rules, yourself." Crimmond finished this off with a smile - and Cade
replied with a stiff one of his own. Then, without another word, he
signed his name at the bottom of three sheets of paper and the other
man came forward to take them. "I had a feeling you wouldn't refuse."

Cade put the pen down. "When can I tell people?"

"Not before the budget speech begins. Any time after that - though
keep the numbers small for the moment. At least for the next week.
I'll call you when I get back to London, to pass on the
congratulations of the HS. For the moment, Alan, you have mine." With
that, he held out his hand and Cade shook it, feeling none of the
enthusiasm he knew Crimmond was expecting.

He did manage a smile of sufficiently convincing proportions that
Crimmond left him content. However, after he was gone and Cade had
returned to his chair, he began to shake, from head to foot and there
was nothing he could do to stop it.

*

"Jesus Christ, Dad, you can't be serious!" Elena stood on the other
side of the kitchen, her dark eyes alight with disbelief. "When is
this going to happen?"

"The announcement is being made as we speak. By the end of next week,
I'll be tied up in meetings thrashing out the details. Crimmond
called me back from London to tell me that the HS wants me there from
Wednesday onwards. I'll have three months to get the Division up and
running."

"But - hell, that's no time at all!" Elena came around the table,
filled a glass with water from the tap and turned to face him,
swallowing without taking her eyes from him. "And what does Bodie say
about it all?"

"Ah, and therein lies the problem."

"Why?"

Cade shrugged and sipped the whisky he'd poured himself an hour ago
as  he'd waited for her to come home.

"Dad? Why is it a problem? You two are okay, aren’t you? I mean, you
always seem pretty happy when you're both here - or do you keep your
fights for when I'm not around?"

"Elena," Cade began with a half-hearted laugh, "I wouldn't inflict
our fights on my worst enemy, let alone you."

But she didn't smile. Instead, she came up to him with deep concern
in her eyes. "But you are okay, aren't you? You're not going to split
up or anything?"

With a soft smile, he took her hand, "Come on." He led her willingly
through to the lounge and sat her down on the sofa, putting his arm
around her shoulders. "You know there's a lot of things I can't ever
discuss with you, about what I do - and why."

"Sure - and I've always appreciated the fact that you do discuss a
lot of stuff that you probably shouldn't - so I don't feel completely
left out."

"And you've been good to your word and never spoken about them to
anyone else. Well, when I get to London, that's going to get ten
times worse. On top of that, I'll be selling this house."

"Yeah, but Cambridge is closer to London than here - unless you don't
want me…"

"Of course I want you with me!" He drained his whisky and put the
glass down carefully. "No, this is about something else. About Bodie
and me. Something you and I have never really talked about. And it
has everything to do with this new job."

"Go on."

"Well, in exactly the same way I can't tell you about my work, I
can't tell you the hows or whens or whys of it - but I want you to
understand how Bodie feels about me -"

"Dad," Elena began, as though talking to a child. "I'm not blind.
I've seen how much he loves you. You don't need to say anything…"

"And how I feel about him." Cade finished, seeing a serious look
graze across his daughter's eyes. "I can't tell you the background,
but I can say that Bodie, whether it's a good idea or not, will do
everything within his power to protect me. Now, he has his reasons -
and to be honest, I'm not always sure I even know all of them - but
what I'm getting at, is that he is prepared to go to any lengths
necessary to keep me in one piece. I… suspect that it has become the
most important thing in the world to him and I think I might know
why."

He paused and took a breath, keeping reign on what he could tell her
and what he had to, from necessity, leave out. "You know I love you
and that I would never do anything to hurt you."

"Sure."

"And you don't know how happy I am that you've accepted my
relationship with Bodie."

"Well, the truth is, if he'd been a bastard, I wouldn't have."

Unable to help himself, Cade replied, "Oh, but he is - and now I have
proof."

Elena laughed a little, "So, what's the problem?"

"When I go to London, things are going to change - for you - but
mostly for me and Bodie. Sure, he'll be around more often - at least
in the beginning."

It was so hard to say, he had to stop again. Sensing his distress,
Elena took his hand, "What is it, Dad?"

Looking away from her, he shook his head slightly, "I can't begin to
tell you how much he means to me. I'm not sure what I'd do if I lost
him now. He is… well, to just say that I love him doesn't even come
close - and this… business only makes it worse. And when I get to
London, he'll go all out to make sure that in the nasty city, my
back… will be covered at all times. It might get a little
uncomfortable for a while, until I can settle him down. But…" how
could he say it? The truth was, he couldn't. Not until it was all
over. "But when that does happen, there might not be a Bodie in my
life any more."

"What?" Elena sat up. "Dad, what are you talking about? You're going
around in circles and I want to know!"

He quietened her by taking both her hands in his. "You don't know the
sacrifices he's made for me. Going back a long way. Things that…
happened and shouldn't have. Things that people did. He's going to
try and make up for it because, despite what he says, he will always
blame himself for the fact that we split up in the first place. You
know Bodie; he's a freight train and with a good head of steam,
nothing can stop him. I'm just warning you because there's going to
be a fight - between what I want to do and him wanting to protect me.
I don't want us to split up - Christ, I promise you, I don't - but I
know him. It might end up coming to that. I just want you to know, in
case you might decide to stay in Cambridge for a while, until things
settle down."

Elena shook her head vigorously, "He'll never leave you."

"Sweetheart," he reached up and caressed her cheek, "he's done it
twice already - so he could protect me. Twice before he's sacrificed
our relationship so that I would be safe. Like I said, it's become
the most important thing in the world to him. I know, just as sure as
we're sitting here, that should the moment come again, he would do
the same thing a third time. And the third would be the last."

"No." But she was no longer certain.

"I just wanted you to be warned."

She watched him with grave eyes for a moment then said, "I'm coming
to London with you. I don't care if there are going to be fireworks.
You'll have to have somebody around you trust to pick up the pieces
if it all goes wrong."

"I don't want you getting hurt. I know you're fond of Bodie."

"Damn it, Dad! I'm not a fragile petal! I love Bodie and I love you
and if there's any way I can make sure you two stay together, I'll
take it. I can cop a little flack along the way if necessary. Don't
worry about me - just concentrate on Bodie and this new job. God, I'm
so proud of you!" With that, she gave him a hug - and that's when he
realised how much he'd needed one.

*

A bitter wind whistled through the French windows and across the
floor of the living room but Cade did nothing about it. He was hot
and exhausted and the wind kept him from overheating.

The house looked like the wind had been blowing for a week. Half
packed boxes were scattered across every room, pictures were down
from the wall, vast quantities of paper and every other conceivable
piece of rubbish covered every horizontal surface. He hated moving -
and this was the major reason why.

In CI5, he'd moved house on average once every nine months. After the
first three moves, he'd learned not to accumulate too much stuff. But
when he'd come up here and bought this house, he'd thought he'd be
here until retirement - so he'd lashed out a bit, bought furniture
and a whole host of other stuff. Now he was moving again and instead
of creating order, packing only made more mess.

Elena had been a help over the last week - but she had exams on and
so Cade had banished her to her shared flat in Cambridge so she could
get some undisturbed study time. Still, when she had been around,
they'd talked a lot - perhaps more than at any other time in their
chequered relationship. Somehow they'd grown closer than before and
for that, he could only be grateful.

It had been a tough and stressful few weeks since the budget speech.
The press had whipped up the whole thing in the first few days after
his name had been mentioned - but now it had all settled down. He'd
managed to get some work done in London, steering as clear of Bodie
as he could manage - though that in itself, had been very difficult.
They'd not spent any time alone in six weeks now, certainly not slept
together. He knew Bodie was concerned about the sudden distance Cade
was putting between them - but he also knew it was necessary for the
moment.

He had an office, in the building adjoining CI5's. Other space was
being organized and they would all move in about six months. He also
had a staff of twenty - not much but enough to begin with. He had
ideas of a few people he wanted with him but he would get to all that
later.

And hell, it was exciting, putting together a National Crime Division
from scratch, being able to make the rules as he went along. Not that
he'd been given a completely free hand - but it was enough. More than
enough.

Extricating himself from Eastland had proved harder than he'd
expected. For all that he was going on to bigger and better things,
he found his emotional involvement in the place had run a lot deeper
than he'd thought. Sean was running things now, but Cade still had
some work to do with him, things to hand over. It would take the
Police Committee at least three months to find a permanent
replacement for him. With the running around in Norwich - together
with constant trips back to London, Cade was exhausted, almost brain
dead and ready for a holiday before he'd really begun.

He left the boxes in the living room and went into the kitchen to
make himself yet another cup of coffee. He would only do a little
more packing today then get dressed and ready to head back to London.
The removals company would do all the rest - though where they would
take all his stuff was another question.

Bodie had mentioned he had it taken care of, but they'd not really
had a chance to discuss it. One thing was certain, Bodie wasn't about
to suggest they live together.

A pity, really.

He'd just finished filling his cup with boiling water when he heard
the doorbell go. With a moan that it might be press, he turned and
headed along the corridor. He opened the door to find, to his
surprise, Kate Ross standing there.

"Oh!" He said, taken completely by surprise. "Er, hello."

She smiled a little, somewhat hesitantly, "I'm sorry to barge in on
you like this. I should have called but I couldn't get your number."

"Er, come in." Cade backed away then closed the door behind her,
showing her the living room. What was he supposed to do with her? Why
the hell was she here? "Sorry about the mess. Just push some stuff
off and take a seat. What can I do for you?"

"Well," Kate said evenly, finding a chair to sit on. Cade took up the
only spot left on the end of the sofa. "I've come about a couple of
things. The first is that, I'm handing in my resignation."

"What?"

She nodded, barely glancing at him, "Since you are now officially my
boss, I thought I'd better tell you in person."

"But why? Have you got an objection to the new Division?"

"Not at all. I think it's a perfect solution. No, it has nothing to
do with that. I've been thinking of leaving for a long time and," she
paused turning her gaze on him, "now that I know Bodie won't be alone
any more, I think I can get away with it."

Cade swallowed, "What will you do?"

"I've been offered a professorship at Oxford. There's a couple of
books I want to write. I'll keep very busy."

"But you'll be leaving Bodie behind? Are you sure that's wise? Have
you told him?"

"Not yet, no. But I won't be far away if he needs me." She kept her
gaze on him, her eyes searching his face in a way that suddenly made
him very uncomfortable.

Taking a guess, Cade sat back a little, "You don't approve of him and
me, do you?"

"Approve?" Her eyebrows rose at this and she shook her head slightly,
as though considering the question for the first time. "It's not for
me to approve or otherwise. He's committed himself to you and he
seems happy."

"Seems? You don't sound too sure."

"I'm not."

Her blunt admission gave him cause to stare back at her. He didn't
say anything however, and the silence stretched between them for a
long time. Then finally, Kate laced her fingers together on her lap
and lifted her head a little. "You're not Alan Cade, are you?"

His heart stopped.

"You're Raymond Doyle," she added in a whisper.

Utterly unable to form any kind of reply, he did nothing at all.

His silence forced her to continue. "Of course, your first question
is how I worked it out. I suppose it's only fair I should tell you
before I decide what I'll do about it. Again to be fair, I'll say
that you gave nothing away. Neither did I do any great rummaging
around in records to find concrete evidence. I guessed you would have
made sure there wasn't any by this time - just in case somebody like
me guessed. And that's all it was - a guess. But you see, Doyle, I'm
not a detective - I'm a psychologist. I study behaviour, not physical
evidence. And though your behaviour was without fault, Bodie's has
been the exact opposite. I've not said anything to him about this
simply because I had to ask you something first. Does he know who you
really are?"

Still bereft of speech, Doyle could only nod. After almost fifteen
years of hiding the terrible secret, it was out at last - and he
couldn't hide his terror.

"He does know?"

"Yes."

Kate nodded and gave him a little smile. "I thought so, but I had to
be sure. How many others know?"

"Apart from you, nobody."

"Not even Cade's daughter?"

"No!" Again, Kate nodded and Doyle found words coming to him. "What
are you going to do?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On why you did it and whether you were responsible for  the real
Alan Cade's death."

Doyle swallowed and bit in his lip. Bodie said he trusted this woman
and from the sound of their relationship over the years, he had
reason to do so. But could Doyle trust her, that was the question.
Then again, he didn't exactly have much choice.

Abruptly, from nowhere, the courage to tell the truth came to him and
he took in a breath. "Okay, I'll tell you everything. But you need to
understand that I won't ever speak about it again. What is said in
this room will never leave it."

Kate gave no sign of agreement - but he went on anyway, detailing the
whole horrible tale right from the story of Marikka and Willis,
through the years to when he and Bodie first got together, through
Willis' blackmail, his time in Liverpool. Everything - even the night
he and Bodie had together at the retreat. The only things he left out
were the more sordid details. He told the whole thing, right up to
when Crimmond came into his office. When he was finished, Kate sat in
silence and he left her briefly to make them both some coffee, giving
her a chance to think about what he'd said. He brought her cup back
and handed it to her, taking his seat once again.

"Well?"

"Well?" She replied quickly, her sharp gaze raking over him like hot
coals. "I can't believe Willis would do such a thing. On the other
hand, Bodie has given me the same story about that event so I know
you're not lying."

"And what are you going to do?"

She took a sip of coffee and pulled in a breath. "Nothing."

He frowned, "Why?"

She gave him a small smile and tilted her head sideways, "Because I
love Bodie, that's why. Do you honestly think I'd stoop so low to
hurt him by revealing your lie to the world? God, he'd kill me!"

"Of course he wouldn't."

"Don't kid yourself. Remember, I've been with him all these years. I
know how he feels about you, how deep it runs. I know better than
anyone just how much he needs you. I'm sorry," she said after a
moment, for the first time, her gaze softening a little. "I had to be
harsh about it so I could get the truth. I didn't think you would
tell me otherwise. Of course, I would have looked like a great idiot
if I'd been wrong, wouldn't I?"

"So what gave it away?"

"Bodie."

"How?"

"For the last ten years or so, I've been the only person in the world
who knew how he felt about you. I saw his depression, his dark side,
his guilt. He blamed himself for getting you killed. He blamed
himself for causing Cowley pain in not telling him the truth about
Willis. And then, strangely, I saw him fall in love with a complete
stranger, without warning. The fact that the stranger looked so much
like Doyle was a big worry. I thought he was deluding himself. For
three months he was an absolute bear, grouching at everybody,
including me. I couldn't get a word out of him - and then suddenly
he's happy again, like a little boy with a new toy. That's when he
told me you were together. I confess, I was a little surprised as I'd
figured he'd fallen for you but you'd said no. I couldn't work out
why you'd suddenly changed your mind. So I began to watch him and how
he behaved on the days after he saw you, on the days before he was to
see you. And then I saw him go through one step after another to
bring about this new Division with you at it's head. He had a lot of
reasons for doing it, but the biggest one was to protect your
relationship with him from being discovered."

"I know."

"Good. You should. But that was the biggest giveaway of all. I know
Bodie - and I know there was only ever one person who meant enough to
him to go to such lengths to protect. I knew that person wasn't an
Alan Cade who was such a tentative part of a new relationship. Bodie
doesn't commit himself that lightly. I confess it was a gut reaction,
but I just knew who you really had to be. The moment I thought of it,
I knew I was right. Everything Bodie has done over the last seven
months only confirms it. But I won't say anything because I love him.
And let's face it, it doesn’t really affect anybody else, does it?"

"Except Elena."

"Exactly."

Doyle sipped his coffee quietly for a moment, his eyes on the woman.
Then, taking a chance he said, "Are you jealous?"

She simply raised an eyebrow.

"Of me and Bodie?"

"Believe me, I gave up any hopes I had with Bodie about ten years
ago. Yes, I do love him and if it was ever within his power to look
at me that way, I'd give it serious consideration - before I said
no."

"Why say no?"

The first real smile she'd shown him, crossed her face briefly, "I
guess because I don't think I could ever love him as much as you do."
She got to her feet and picked up her bag. "I'd better get going.
I'll be seeing Bodie tonight, to tell him about my resignation. Will
I see you at his place?"

"I don't think so."

Perceptive brown eyes met his, "You'd better not be planning to break
his heart."

He couldn't answer that directly. He got to his feet with a shrug,
"Come on Kate, it took me fourteen years to get him back. I'm hardly
going to throw it all away after only six months, am I?"

"I don't know, are you?" She turned for the door and Doyle followed
her. "I have to say, from a purely scientific point of view, I'd like
to talk about those fourteen years. There's a few questions I'd like
to ask you about personality integration."

"No. I won't talk about it again. And, if you don't mind, I'd rather
you pretended you knew nothing about it - even if we're alone. Do you
plan to tell Bodie that you know?"

"Do you think I should?"

"Well," Doyle smiled as he opened the door, "he did warn me you might
guess. I suppose he knows you pretty well, too. If you want to tell
him, it's your choice."

She nodded and made for her car. Doyle stood there for a moment, then
joined her before she got in. "Listen, Kate, I want to apologize. I
think I've given you the wrong impression."

"Oh? You have?" She asked dryly. "I can't think why you'd say that."

"Yeah, well I'm sorry. I was afraid you'd remember me and guess who I
was. But I just want to say… well, that I don't want you running off.
You mean a lot to Bodie. He loves you. Your loyalty and your
friendship has kept him going for a long time. I don't want to be the
cause of that ending. Whatever happens between him and me, well, I
want you to feel that you're still a part of his life."

Though she didn't say much, he could tell his words had found their
mark. She smiled briefly, "Well, I think we'll leave that up to him -
after I tell him what I'm doing. I'll probably see you tomorrow
then."

"Yes. Drive safely."

And then she was moving away, pulling out into the street and Doyle
wandered back inside. He took one look at the living room and quickly
decided against doing any more today. There was a warm hotel room
that had his name on it.

Or maybe he should see Bodie -

God, he missed him! Missed everything about him, his coarse humour,
his eclectic attitudes, his warmth, his arms, his laughter. Keeping
away from him for the last few weeks had been so difficult and the
strain was beginning to wear on him. All he really needed was a few
hours alone with the man, to shut out the world, to just simply be
himself with the only person in the world who could understand. Just
seeing Bodie over a meeting table was enough now to make him ache
inside. Things were okay between them, even with the… separation -
but even so… Perhaps he should call Bodie, go to see him tonight -

No. Not yet. He wasn't quite ready - especially after today. No,
Bodie would have enough on his plate with Kate's resignation and her
leaving. Doyle should stay well clear of that for the moment.

Instead, he went upstairs, had a shower and packed the last of his
personal things. Then he locked the house up and got into his car. He
paused for a long time, looking at small details on the house that
had been his home for so long, the memories within it, up till that
night with Bodie when it seemed that he'd lost everything.

Now he was perched on a similar precipice but this time there would
be no going back.

It was true. He didn't want to do this. But he also knew without a
shadow of a doubt what would happen if he didn't - and he couldn't do
that to Bodie any more. Just couldn't. Even if it meant everything
would be over between them.

The lying had to stop somewhere.

*

Bodie sat in his car and tapped his fingers on the top of the
steering wheel, again and again. However, the street before him was
still empty. What could be keeping them? Why did it take so bloody
long?

A shuffle of movement from beside him did nothing to ease his
impatience - nor did he glance aside. But Kate spoke nonetheless,
"You're still angry with me, aren't you?"

"No. It's your decision. Why should I be angry?"

"Perhaps because you think I'm deserting you."

Bodie lifted an eyebrow and glanced aside at her, "Are you?"

"Only if you think so."

"Never a straight answer with you doctors," Bodie wanted to laugh,
but waiting for Ray to turn up kept his impatience on the simmer.
"Like I said, I just don't want you thinking we don't want you around
any more."

"Bodie, I only told you I knew who he was last night because I didn't
want you walking around on tiptoes waiting for me to guess. You know
it doesn't change anything."

"Oh yeah? And would you be leaving if he wasn't around?"

She met his gaze for a long moment, and nodded, "Yes, eventually.
Bodie, I won't be gone for another month - and I won't be far away.
You know that. Please, don't give me a whole lot of grief over it.
That's not the way I want to go, okay?"

He caught up her hand and kissed it, "Sure, sweetheart. I just don't
want you to leave, that's all."

"Why?" She asked dryly, a genuine smile crinkling the corners around
her eyes, "So we can all be one big happy family?"

He chuckled, "Something like that. What do you think of Elena? Little
spitfire, eh?"

"Her father's daughter."

Bodie grinned harder, "Yeah, exactly."

"Bodie?"

"Yeah?" His gaze was back on the empty street and his fingers had
resumed their tapping.

"Is everything okay between you and Alan?"

"Sure. Why do you ask?"

"Well, you can't have seen much of him in the last month."

"Haven't. For longer than that. But he's been busy - so have I. We
both knew there'd be a settling in period once this job came up.
Actually, I'm planning to cook dinner for him tonight at my place.
Elena's getting the train back to Cambridge."

When Kate said nothing, the hairs on the back of his neck rose a
little. So he turned his head to find her staring hard out the front
window of the car.

"What is it?"

She shook her head, her mouth forming a tight line. He knew that
look; it was the one he always got when she wanted to say something
but was trying not to.

"What?" Still the silence. "Look, if you don't tell me, I'm not
letting you out of this car - ever."

Instead of smiling, she frowned, "You'll just argue with me, so
what's the point?"

"Bloody hell, Kate!"

"Look," she turned and faced him. "I love you, Bodie and I don't want
you to get hurt. As much as you live eat and breathe protecting Alan,
I feel much the same way about you. But my problem is, you won't
allow me to do that. So I have to say nothing."

"Protect me? From what?"

"From him."

Bodie froze. "What does that mean?"

She shook her head slowly, "No more than what I've been saying all
along. I wish you'd just be careful - but I know it's too late for
that. You're head over heels in love with him and you have this blind
spot a mile wide. You simply can't see trouble before it hits you on
the head."

"Oh? And what kind of trouble is Alan going to give me?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. But… has he really been so busy he
couldn't possibly have found a few hours for you two to be alone?
Every night he's been in London, he's stayed at that hotel. Is this
working out the way you wanted it, Bodie?"

His jaw open, he could say nothing for a moment. Then he gathered
himself and shook his head, "You're imagining things."

"Like I said, there's no point in saying anything."

"Kate…"

"No, Bodie, I don't want to talk about it any more. You're not
prepared to listen so let's just pretend I didn't say anything.
Besides," she added with a short sigh, "he's coming now."
Bodie glanced through the window to see Ray's landrover driving
towards them, slowing to find a park. Quickly he turned back to her
and gave her a smile. He didn't want this day to start on a bad note.
"We'll talk about it later, eh? And I will listen, I promise. Okay?"

She didn't move for a second - but when he kissed her cheek she
smiled. "Okay. Let's get in before we freeze."

*

Doyle locked the car and followed Elena up the road to where Bodie
and Kate were standing. Kate gave him a week smile and without
thinking, he gave her a brief hug, making her laugh.

"How did it go last night?" he murmured in her ear.

"We survive," she replied without raising her voice.

He nodded and turned to the man who stood beside her, wanting
desperately to give him a hug too - but of course, being entirely
unable to, he simply smiled. Bodie's returning grin was worth all the
summer sunshine for a year. He raised his hand, jiggling keys in the
air.

"Come on, before it gets too dark to see anything."

"Too dark to see anything of what?" Doyle replied - but Bodie just
shook his head and turned through the gate of a house that stood
behind him. It was an elegant Georgian terrace on a street lined with
leafless oaks. A very nice area.

Bodie strode up the stairs and unlocked the door, standing aside for
them all to enter. Elena went in first, followed by Kate.

"Wow!" Elena said, her feet clattering on the bare floors, her voice
echoing in empty rooms. "Hey, this is nice."

Kate murmured agreement so Doyle was warned before he even got
inside. He stopped in the entrance hall, his jaw dropping. Bodie
closed the door and came up behind him, his close presence warm
enough to heat the entire house. Without thinking, Doyle turned his
head and breathed in the scent of the man. Six weeks, going on seven
since he'd been able to do that.

Bodie either sensed his mood - or felt exactly the same way himself.
He immediately put a hand on Doyle's shoulder, squeezing hard. "What
do you think, sunshine?"

"About what?" Doyle murmured, forgetting where he was for a moment.
Instead, he reached up and took Bodie's hand, turning to face him.

The love that shone out of Bodie's eyes in that moment took his
breath away, making him twist inside with the sheer wonder of it all.
Doyle heard Elena's feet clattering up the stairs, Kate wandering
towards the back of the house - and so took the opportunity he had
before him, leaning forward to give Bodie a soft kiss.

Instantly, Bodie pulled him in tight, an arm around his waist.
Another deeper kiss followed and Doyle thought he was about ready to
melt, right there in the front hall, making one big puddle.

"Mmn," Doyle whispered, his stomach fluttering as though it was the
first time Bodie had ever kissed him. "Don't do that."

"Why not?" Bodie murmured against his cheek.

"'Cause it's been too long and we have company."

"Okay - but you're having dinner at my place tonight, okay?"

"Okay." Doyle nodded and forced himself to step back.

"Well," Bodie kept smiling, "Take a look around. Tell me what you
think."

Keeping hold of Bodie's hand, Doyle walked through empty lounge and
dining room, kitchen and terrace. Then upstairs just in time for
Elena to pass them on her way back down. Room after room they
wandered through until they reached the back bedroom, where a tall
pine commanded all the view from the window. There Doyle stopped,
leaving Bodie by the door. The garden was lovely, with trees around
every side. The place was perfect. But for what?

"Bodie?"

"Yes, love?"

"What is this?"

"Your new home, if you want it."

"Bodie…" he began, his voice low with warning.

"Oh, don't get all upset. It's not my doing. It belongs to the
Ministry of Defence. It's actually a safe house they use for visiting
dignitaries - except they've been using it for a few years now and
it's time to sell. I thought you might like to take a look before it
goes on the market."

"Take a look?" Doyle murmured, knowing exactly what Bodie was
thinking.

"You could move in tomorrow if you like."

Doyle could only shake his head and smile, "You're spoiling me,
Bodie."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Bodie replied, coming up behind him again. This
time, he put his arms around Doyle's waist, planting a kiss on his
neck and making Doyle shiver. "I got you a new job and a house and
now you think I'm ruling every part of your life but really, I'm just
trying to…"

"Look after me?"

"Something like that," Bodie's reply was muffled into Doyle's hair.
He'd deliberately let it grow a little longer and Bodie knew it.

"God," Doyle breathed, holding Bodie's arms to him, leaning his head
back against that solid strength. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Well, to be honest, I have a few ideas I'd like to discuss with you
after dinner - at some length. Perhaps even repeatedly."

"I'll be you have," Doyle laughed.

"Well, what do you think? It's not as big as your place in Norwich -
but you and Elena could rattle around here for days without seeing
each other - a necessary requirement I should think, with her
around."

"And your place is only ten minutes away?"

"Five." Bodie chuckled, not embarrassed about being found out. "I
timed it yesterday."

"Going normal speed - or your normal speed."

"What do you think?"

Doyle just shook his head and let the silence catch them for a
moment. He could hear Elena and Kate downstairs - but both of them
had enough sensitivity to leave the two men alone for a while. As the
silence drew on, Doyle's warmth faded into the background - and he
knew it was time. He left it a moment longer, enjoying the last of
the peace while it continued: only because he knew it wouldn't when
he'd had his say.

"Bodie?"

"Yes, love?"

"Dinner tonight?"

"Yeah?"

"I might not be able to make it."

Instantly he felt Bodie stiffen behind him - but the voice remained
mild, "Oh? Why not?"

"I have a meeting."

"Then come afterwards."

"It could be late."

"I don't care. I want to see you. Tonight."

"But it could be very late."

"I don't care if it's six o'clock in the fucking morning, Ray," Bodie
hissed. "I'll cook you breakfast if I have to. I want you there."

"I know," Doyle soothed, holding Bodie's hand but not turning around.
It wasn't going to be good telling him - but it would be better if
Bodie didn't have to watch him say it. "But that's not the only
reason why I might not be able to come."

"Then what?"

Doyle took in a deep breath and tried to keep calm. "Bodie, I have to
tell you something. It's about the meeting I'm going to - and you're
not going to like it."

*

Kate was downstairs in the kitchen when she heard the first shout.

"No!"

It was Bodie - and it was all she could do not to run upstairs to
him. Instantly, Elena appeared from the dining room, her gaze going
upwards, but her expression nowhere near as surprised as it should
have been.

Then Bodie was shouting again, "You are crazy, you know that? No, no
bloody way!"

The other voice came in then, but Kate couldn't hear the words. But
Bodie wasn't listening - as usual.

"No! I won't let you do it!"

"No, damn it! Listen to me!"

"If you do, I'll…" But the rest was lost as Elena grabbed Kate's hand
and dragged her out the back door. Kate resisted but Elena had a
strong grip.

"What's going on up there?"

"I don't know," the girl said with determination. "But I don't think
we should interrupt them right now. Let's look at the garden."

Once on the grass, Elena let go and Kate turned to look back at the
house. From this angle she could see only a crack of the back bedroom
window. Bodie stood there, his stance stiff and terrible, his
expression dark. He was speaking but she could no longer hear. Of
Doyle she could see nothing.

Every instinct she had screamed at her to get back inside and stop
whatever was going on. But one look from Elena stopped her in her
tracks. No, she couldn't interfere, the girl was right.

But that didn't make it any easier.

*

"Or you'll what?" Doyle said evenly, his stance, everything about him
reeking determination.

Bodie shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing. "You've
already made up your mind, haven't you? Don't I get a say in this?
Doesn't it matter what I think?"

"Bodie, you know I'm right."

"I don't know any damn such thing!" Bodie spun around to the window.
He could see the girls out there, pretending nothing was going on
inside. He couldn't look at Ray any more. It was getting too tempting
to take him and shake some sense into him. "You've made the decision
and no matter how it affects me, you're just going through with it.
I'm surprised you even bothered to tell me beforehand - or is it
already too late?"

"No," Doyle replied carefully, keeping his temper. He came closer but
Bodie didn't turn. "That's what this meeting is for this afternoon."

"I… can't believe you're doing this. After everything we've been
through." Bodie came to a halt, closing his eyes, not wanting to do
it but finding no other way. "Ray, if you do this…"

"What?"

Bodie forced the words out through gritted teeth. "Then I'll make
sure you have nothing to tell them."

A sharp intake of air greeted this and almost instantly, Bodie wished
he could take it back. But now it was out there, between them and he
couldn't think of any way to make it disappear.

"You'd do that, Bodie?" A whisper, no more. "You'd leave me?"

"Yes." Leaden. Dead.

"Why?"

"Because I have to stop you."

"Why?" Disbelief, horror, agony.

"Because… because you'll be destroyed."

"Bodie," Doyle grabbed his arm and turned him around, green eyes
flaring with emotions that ran too deep and too close to the surface.
"You can't protect me from everything! You have to stop trying. I
promise you, I won't be destroyed."

"But… do you have to tell them about us? Do you have to come out to
the whole damned world? Christ, Ray!"

Doyle only gripped his hand tighter, breathing hard, "Bodie you have
to understand, I'm sick of this! I'm so tired of running and hiding
and keeping everything in separate little places. I've been doing it
too long. I love you - and I don't care if the whole world knows it.
I don't care if they sack me and I sure as hell don't care if they
sack you. Neither do you. We are what's important - and we both know
that if I don't tell Crimmond and his lot, they'll find out
eventually and probably at the hands of some tabloid creep who
doesn't give a damn how many lives he destroys. If I do it this way,
then nobody gets hurt."

"They'll crucify you - especially now. God, Ray, I didn't do all this
so you could just throw it all away!"

"I know - but it's like you said, the higher up I go, the more it is
in their interests to keep it quiet. I won't be coming out to the
whole world, just a few Whitehall rats."

Bodie shook his head, his voice coming out harsh and abrasive. "And
you know how long it will be a secret?"

"I don't care."

"But why?" Bodie knew his fear was showing, but he simply couldn't
help it. The urge - the need - to protect ran far too strong. "Why do
it at all?"

Bodie waited, heart pounding, as Doyle came closer, reaching up a
hand to brush over his cheeks. Bodie couldn’t stop the trembling at
the gentle pressure against his skin. Doyle had always had the power
to seduce him with no more than a look.

"Don't you know why?" Doyle whispered. "I'm doing it because I love
you, because I want to be with you. I don't want us to be checking
the street every night and every morning. I don't want you to leave
my bed before the sun comes up just in case some one might be out
there with a
camera. I don't want to be wondering if people at work are watching
us, if Crimmond is going to turn up in my office one day and tell me
what he knows."

"Ray…"

"You know the main reason why this kind of thing is traditionally
kept a secret? To stop blackmail. Well, you and I are in very
powerful positions. How long do you think it would take before the
first photos arrived, the first demands were handed in? Trust me, if
I could, I'd tell them everything. But I can't - and the truth is,
the only real reason why I won't is because I don't want to do that
to Elena. But I will tell them about us and they will learn to live
with it."

"Please don't do this, Ray." Bodie pleaded, one last time.

The fierce whisper continued, full of a passion Bodie hadn't heard
for a long time. "I have to. I can't go on like this any more - and
you shouldn't have to either. We've both been through too much over
the years. Being separated, having to deal with death, having to
fight the world to actually be together in the first place. For
nearly fifteen years we were kept apart because somebody else didn't
want us to be together. As far as I can see, this is the best way to
make sure Willis can never win." He came close and brushed his lips
over Bodie's, cradling his face in one hand. "Please, Bodie,
understand. Don't leave me. Not now."

"God, Ray," Bodie breathed, absorbing every facet of the man he
loved. Wretched, aching and torn. "You have no idea…"

"Don't leave me, Bodie - please." Raw, unfettered need expressed in
each word, a need echoed in Bodie's heart.

And at that Bodie broke, pulling Ray close, closing his eyes and
burying his face against sweet-smelling skin. His whole body
shuddered as Ray held him tight and slowly, he shook his head, "No,
Ray, I won't leave you."

"Oh, god, Bodie!" The relief in Doyle's voice was profound, making
Bodie's next words come out more thickly than he intended.

"I can't leave you again - not even if I think you're mad."

Leaning back a little, Doyle's expression was a little shaky, his
voice along with it. He pressed a thumb to Bodie's lips and murmured,
"I love you - and I'm not mad, Bodie. Quite the opposite. Besides,"

"Besides what?" Bodie whispered, no longer steady on his feet. His
anger was draining out of him as each second drifted by. His heart
was filled with dread - but with Doyle so close, he couldn't bring
himself to fight any more. Doyle never changed his mind once it was
made up - and despite his threat, there was no way he was going to
walk out on the man, even to stop him doing something so drastic. It
wouldn't do any good - Doyle would still go and tell them and then
Bodie's sacrifice would have been for nothing. He couldn't lose Doyle
like that.

He couldn't lose him at all. Ever again.

"Besides what?" he said again when he got no answer. He lifted his
eyes to find Ray looking at him, with more than a little trepidation.

"I have another reason why I want to get it out in the open."

"What's that?" Bodie frowned.

Doyle swallowed, "I want us to live together."

For a second, Bodie simply couldn't move. Then, his heart hammering
in his chest, he said, "What?"

"I'll buy this bloody house, Bodie, but only on the condition that
you live here with me."

"Live together?" Bodie asked, half his face smiling while the other
half remained frozen. And in some small forgotten place inside him,
things were tumbling around, as though down a flight of stairs. It
was a weird feeling. "Us? You and me? Sleeping in the same bed? Every
night?"

"Yeah," Doyle smiled, "Every night when one of us isn't tied up at
work."

"Never happen again," Bodie whipped back. "And breakfast, too? Every
morning? And days off? Just like… like real people?"

"Exactly like real people. Everything. Washing dishes, housework,
fights over bills, about who takes out the rubbish and who mows the
lawn, complaints about dirty clothes on the floor. The works."

"Huh." Bodie's gazed traced over Doyle's face, captured every
contour, every line, every shape; the familiar and the beloved. "And
you want that? With me?"

"Yes, I want that, with you."

Bodie just shook his head, something inside him lifting and flying
away on wings of sheer disbelief and unutterable joy. "And Elena
too?"

"And Elena too."

"What will she say?"

"She'll love the idea. What I want to know, love, is what you say."

Bodie didn't bother voicing his reply. He simply pulled Doyle to him
and kissed him long and deep and slow, his arms wrapped around a warm
hard body encased in far too many layers of clothing.

Then Doyle was laughing and Bodie was laughing with him. They came
apart slightly and Doyle looked at him with those huge green eyes and
Bodie wondered if anybody else in the world had ever felt this damned
happy. "You want me to come to this meeting with you?"

"Thanks, but I think for the moment, you'd better go home and start
cooking my dinner."

His protective instincts not entirely happy, he said, "Are you sure?
I mean…"

"Yes, Bodie, I'm sure."

"Well," Bodie hesitated, not wanting to leave Doyle's arms. "I guess
we'd better go down and tell the girls the good news."

"I think we'd better."

*

Kate saw the door open and Doyle wave them inside. Close to freezing,
she didn't wait too long. Elena followed close behind but the two men
had already gone into the living room. They stood beside the
fireplace, side by side, their hands linked two fingers each. For
some reason she couldn't pinpoint, they both looked ridiculously
happy. Despite her unease, she found herself warming to Doyle again.
Whatever it was that had aroused her instincts, seemed to have been
resolved - for the good.

"Bodie tells me he can have the power and gas on by tonight." Doyle
began, looking at them both. "It'll take a couple of days for all my
stuff to arrive but with any luck, I'll be settled in enough for us
four to have a house-warming dinner on Saturday. If you'll join us?"

"Us?" Kate murmured, suddenly having a sinking feeling in the pit of
her stomach.

"Yeah, Bodie's moving in, too."

Elena let out a screech of delight and leaped into Bodie's arms. Then
she gave Doyle a hug too. "God, you're both absolutely mad! But I
wouldn't miss this for the world!"

"Kate?" Bodie turned to her, his eyes communicating all he would
never say aloud. "You'll come?"

"Sure," she shrugged and headed for the door. The others followed her
out and Bodie paused behind to lock up. Kate waited for him on the
path. He stopped before her, gazing steadily at her.

"Yeah, I know, I should be careful. But hell, sweetheart, I've spent
my life taking one risk after another. And now look what it's got
me."

"The love of your life?" She asked dryly. "You really think it's
going to be that easy? Just moving in together?"

"Of course not," Bodie sighed. "But I don't really care if it isn't.
It's been a long road, these last fourteen years. I'm not sure I
would have made it this far if it hadn't been for you."

"Oh, don't be silly," She tried to brush him off but couldn't hide
the tears in her eyes. Without a word, he pulled her close and she
buried her face against his padded shoulder.

"Oh, you prune, Kate. Do you still have no idea how dear you are to
me? I really don't want to lose you and I know you're afraid Ray will
only hurt me. But I ask you, beg you to trust him. Remember what he
and I used to be like, all those years ago. We kept each other alive
day in, day out. We're just the same now only with less gunfire in
the way. Please, be happy for me."

She nodded her head. "I am, Bodie, I am. You'll never know how much."

"Then you'll come on Saturday?"

"Of course. Maybe by then I'll be in a better mood to celebrate with
you." But for now, it was going to take a little time - because no
matter how he chose to look at it, she was losing him. Losing him to
Doyle. She would miss him and yes, miss him needing her so much, but
it was good to be moving on. Especially when she knew Bodie had
everything he'd ever wanted. "Sure I'll be there."

"Good. Let's go. I've got to get everything organized for the move -
and Alan has a meeting to attend."

*

Even though he'd been terribly busy the whole time, the hours still
seemed to drag by. However, Bodie did manage to get the house sorted
out ready for the next day - and get home in time to cook. He left
things sizzling in the kitchen as he set the table by the big window,
the one that looked out over the river. He'd always liked this flat -
but it had always had an air of being a little too impersonal which
he'd never been able to get rid of. He hadn't even been there that
long. A year was it? Well, nice as it was, he wouldn't miss it.

Assuming everything went as planned.

He laid two places at the table - and didn't even think about putting
a rose in a vase between them. But he did set candles out, turned the
lights down low and fluffed up the cushions on the couch. Half way
through he began to laugh at himself. He was being such an idiot -
but he couldn't help it. It had been a long tough life so far - he'd
learned long ago that it was best to take these moments as they came
and enjoy them for what they were. It was impossible to tell if any
more would come along.

When he was finished with the table, he dashed back into the kitchen
for one last check of the food, then raced into the shower. He came
out refreshed and clean and put on his most perfectly blue shirt -
the one he knew matched his eyes so well. All the while he kept
laughing at himself - simply because he knew Doyle would have laughed
at him if he'd been here.

Yeah, he was being silly - but god, it was fun!

Dressed and ready now, he went back into the kitchen and opened a
bottle of the red wine he'd bought on the way home. A classic vintage
to tempt even Ray's refined tastes. He poured out two glasses and set
them on the coffee table. Then he stood there for a moment,
nonplussed.

The problem with having so much fun was, he really needed somebody to
share it with.

Nevertheless, he went back into the kitchen and tried to still his
impatience. He washed up the dishes, trying not to think that the
longer the meeting went on, the worse the outcome was likely to be.
Really, he should have gone along, to present a united front.

Besides, he'd always enjoyed watching Ray at work with a group of
potential enemies. They never came out quite the same as when they'd
gone in. It was a talent the little golli had - another of which
Bodie loved him for.

With the kitchen clean and shining except for the dishes cooking, he
again came to an end of what needed to be done. He was about to go
and put some washing in the machine for want of something better to
do - when he heard the door buzzer go.

In a flash, almost tripping over the hall rug, he reached the door
and yanked it open, a smile already on his face. Doyle stood there,
looking something like a drowned rat - but he'd been prepared for
that. Without a word, he reached out and grabbed Ray's arm, pulling
him inside. He then wrapped his arms about the man and kissed him
until there were a few signs of life.

Only when Ray began to struggle, did Bodie consider letting him up
for air. Then he let go and carefully peeled the thick coat away from
the smaller man. "Well," he said quietly, "how did it go?"

"Bunch of bloody wimps," Ray said gratingly. "Just hold me, Bodie."

Like a good boy, Bodie did as he was told. They stood there, in the
hall for long wonderful minutes - until Bodie remembered the food.
"Come on. Tell me about it while I serve up dinner. Or do you want to
have a shower first? Wash off the Whitehall grime?"

"Yeah," Doyle nodded. "Did I leave some clothes here?"

"In the wardrobe."

Kissing him again, Doyle headed off to the bathroom and Bodie to the
kitchen. Ten minutes later, Ray reappeared looking more like himself,
and Bodie decided the choice of sea green shirt had been quite
deliberate. Immediately, he blew away half a dozen of his biggest
worries in that moment. He handed out a glass of wine and got busy
with the food. "Well?"

"Like frightened chickens, they were. The HS even accused you of
deliberately seducing me as some kind of political powerplay. Hell,
if they'd known what else you'd done, they would have crucified you
instead of me."

Bodie turned slowly, a tray held between his mittened hands. "What
does that mean?"

"It means that they had a field day with me. They threw everything at
me they could think of: you know, I have to end this relationship -
they said it like it was a swear word - immediately. I was betraying
my country -"

"Jesus!"

"I was reneging on the contract I'd signed. How could I do this to
them. The National Crime Division was the government's shiny new
flagship - and I was sullying it before it had even set sail. I think
you can guess the rest."

"And what happened?"

Doyle deliberately didn't look at him then, feigning interest in the
type of oven Bodie had. "I told them to fuck off."

"What?" Bodie began to laugh. "You didn't."

"I did. In exactly those words. Then I reminded them that I had
signed a legally binding contract and that if they wanted to break it
now, I would take it through every court in the land - extremely
publicly. I would shout from the highest yardarm that the government
had sacked me simply because I was in a relationship with a man -
which is not even remotely illegal. I then went on to tell them that
I had actually seduced you - which, strictly speaking, is true - and
that if I went, so would you."

Bodie swallowed and began to put food onto plates. "And what did they
say to that?"

With a short laugh, Doyle shrugged, "That's when I got the biggest
surprise of my life. The HS burst out laughing and shared a look with
bloody Nigel Crimmond."

"What?"

"Yeah. Course, they already knew about your orientation - and they
apparently weren't a bit surprised to see you'd… had your way with
me." A husky chuckle accompanied this and it was all Bodie could do
to keep his hands off the green-eyed imp. "They claimed they had only
torn strips off me to make sure I was committed to my position - but
considering that politicians are more changeable than the London
weather, I didn't buy that for one second."

"So they didn't already suspect?"

"Actually, I think Crimmond did - but only recently. I'm sure he
didn't say anything. I know genuine surprise when I see it."

"So what happens now?"

Bodie took the plates into the dining room and Doyle took his place.
"Mmn, this smells good. What happens now is that you'll have to pack
up in three days because I don't want to live in that big house all
alone. I'm afraid I'll get scared in the dark."

Bodie already had food in his mouth when this was said - so offhand
and lightly. He nearly choked and had to swallow large quantities of
wine before he could speak. "Are you joking? You mean, they didn't
throw us out?"

"Well, they couldn't, could they?"

"Of course they could."

Doyle met his gaze, green matching the colour of his shirt, looking
entirely too wonderful for his own good. "Yeah - but they didn't.
We've got a few rules we need to follow, but nothing too harsh."
"Rules? I don't like the sound of that. What kind of rules?"

"No hosting of huge gay parties, no openly consorting where there is
to be large quantities of press, no making statements about the
government's position on gay rights - the usual stuff. Oh, and no
promiscuous behaviour. We're expected to be an exclusive pair,
displaying all the fidelity of a married couple."

"Shit, that's going to be hard to do," Bodie replied straight-faced.
He was rewarded with abrupt laughter from his other half.

"You do realise news will get out eventually."

"That's what I tried to warn you about this afternoon."

"Yeah, but this way, when it does, the government  is already
committed to supporting us. There'll probably be some flash of
interest for perhaps a few weeks - then, as long as we keep our heads
and act like nothing's wrong, they'll get bored and go away."

Bodie nodded and watched Doyle for a moment, "So, it's going to
happen."

"Yeah," Doyle replied, sobering. "Not too late to back out."

"It was too late to back out fifteen years ago when I kissed you that
night." Bodie replied, finishing his meal. He waited for Ray to
finish his then collected the plates. He took them back into the
kitchen and picked up bowls of dessert. "Come on, let's go into the
living room."

They settled on the sofa and Bodie put his bowl of chocolate mousse
on the table. With Doyle's in his hand, he scooped out a spoonful and
put it in Doyle's open mouth. Then, as Doyle swallowed, Bodie kissed
him, tasting the chocolate. "Mmn, you taste nice."

"So do you," Ray murmured, melting into him. With his hands full of
things, Bodie could only wrap his arms around Ray as his lips met
those others again, tasting, touching, drawing in deeply, drinking
his fill.

"God, I love you, Ray."

"Love you too, Bodie. I'm so bloody tired, though."

"Don't worry, love. Let me do it for you." Carefully putting his
things down, Bodie turned back, putting his hand on Doyle's thigh to
move it slowly up. Beneath his touch, Doyle shivered. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'. Just been so long."

Bodie nuzzled Ray's neck, his tongue encountering clean soft flesh
over hard muscle. Ray moaned beneath his touch, setting him on fire -
but as much as his desire fought him to move quickly, he wanted this
to last, to make the most of this perfect night.

So he took it slowly, letting his hand rest on the hardness at Ray's
groin, doing nothing, simply being there. With his other hand, he
carefully undid each of the buttons of the green shirt, then pulled
it wide so he could get at that furry chest. His tongue licked at
each nipple, bringing it up and again, a moan issued from Ray's
throat, deep and grating at Bodie's deliberation. That sound alone
was almost enough to bring him to the edge. Moving on, he opened the
trousers, taking the zipper down carefully over the bulge. Ray
stiffened as fingers touched his erection and Bodie took the head in
his mouth.

Ray almost melted onto the couch. "Oh, god, Bodie, stop! You have no
idea how close I am. Please, not yet."

Only a little disappointed, Bodie let the shaft leave his mouth. He
caught those seductive lips again and Doyle wrapped his arms around
Bodie's neck. Softly now, Bodie whispered, "What do you want, love?"

"You," came the soft reply, "I want you."

"You have me."

"Yeah, I do, don't I?"

"Forever, angelfish."

"And tonight?"

"Especially tonight."

"Then tonight I want you inside me. I want to do you, too but I don't
think I have the energy. So take me. Here and now. On the floor. I
can't wait any longer."

All Bodie's best intentions were swept aside with that brief demand.
With a moan of his own, he captured Ray's mouth again, and, holding
him carefully, allowed their bodies to slide to the floor. Barely
able to contain his urgency now, Bodie stripped Doyle naked, then
removed his own clothes. He grabbed the tube of lube he'd hidden
beneath a cushion and prepared the entrance to Ray's body, watching
with joy, the face of the man beneath him, the eyes half-closed with
passion, the soft whimper coming from the mouth. And then neither of
them could wait any longer. Doyle lifted his legs over Bodie's
shoulders and Bodie slid into him, taking those lips again as he
buried himself.

Finally complete, he began to move, taking Doyle's aching shaft in
one hand. Ray held his shoulders, urging him on with every breath,
his voice alone taking them to dizzy heights, joining them in a
tangle of sweating limbs and words for them alone. Bodie could almost
see the love in the air around them, breathe it into his own lungs.
And it all came from the man beneath him, so open to him, so
wonderful, so beautiful. It filled the room, making the air sparkle,
captivating it, bringing it alive with electricity. And it all
happened so quickly.

Doyle gave another deep moan and Bodie felt him jerk. As hot liquid
splashed over his hand, his own body reacted to the muscles clenched
around his erection, and with a cry, he emptied himself deep inside
his love, giving him the only physical gift that had any real
meaning. Drained, they collapsed together on the rug and Bodie
wrapped his arms and legs around Ray, drawing him as close as
possible.

Long, long after they'd drowsed, Bodie turned his head to take one
small kiss. Ray smiled, his eyes closed, his face the picture of
contentment.

"Next time," Ray said, his voice sounding very unsleepy considering
the hour, "I think we should actually try the bed."

"Oh?" Bodie murmured, touching his next kiss to the damaged
cheekbone. "Why?"

"I think I prefer being on something soft when you fuck me."

"And I'm going to fuck you again tonight, am I?"

"Yes." Ray paused as Bodie planted a kiss on his chin. "In about
fifteen minutes. That's why I'm warning you that I want to be on the
bed next time - in case you get carried away again."

"Me get carried away?" Bodie replied, lightly. With only a little
force, he put his teeth to the nearest earlobe and tugged. Ray moaned
and Bodie said, "That's not the way I remember it."

"Conflicting evidence, m'lud. Neither of the two witnesses could
decide who had done what."

Bodie took his tongue along Ray's throat and was gratified to feel
the man shifting in his arms, turning to give Bodie a better angle.
"Then perhaps what we really need is an action replay, to refresh our
memories."

"Well that's what you get when you refuse to make love to me for
seven weeks and three days." Ray said lightly but seriously.

"Oh, that was me, was it? I see. And…" Bodie was having a hard time
not laughing here, "that was because I…?"

"You'd gone off me." Ray kept his eyes closed as he wove this tangled
thread - but Bodie was captivated utterly.

"Uh huh? Hard to believe, you being so damned sexy and everything."

"Yeah, I know - but it's true."

Bodie now reached the base of Ray's neck, letting his tongue dip into
the hollow there, knowing it was one of the most sensitive spots on
this wonderful body. "So how come I'm making love to you now?"

"'Cause I drugged your wine."

"I should have guessed. And why did you do that?"

"Because I simply can't keep my hands off you and I had to have you
even if you don't want me."

"And what happens tomorrow when the drug wears off?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? It won't. You're stuck with me. Sorry."

"I forgive you." Bodie let his tongue find a single nipple, raking
across the soft surface, making it hard and tasty. God this man was
so delicious. Ray arched his back into Bodie's gesture. At the same
time, Bodie felt hands smooth down his own stomach until they found
what they were looking for.

"Bodie?"

"Yes, Ray?"

"Bed."

"Now? Are the fifteen minutes up already?"

"Just about. Can't you tell? See, that's the problem with this drug:
the mind is always a few steps behind the body. Down there, you want
me - but up here, you're too busy talking."

"I am, am I?" Bodie was fast losing his ability to stifle his
laughter. And he was only too aware of how he was feeling down below.
However, simply because he was feeling that good, he shifted until he
could look at the face again, the eyes still closed, the expression
still wonderfully relaxed - and all of a sudden, he was utterly
caught by the magic of the moment. It came so swiftly it dragged his
breath away and he said the first and only words that came into his
drug-infested mind. "Ray, will you marry me?"

"'Course I will, love." Doyle replied dreamily. "Thought you already
knew that."

"Did I?"

"Sure."

"But we never discussed it."

"Yes we did." Now it was Doyle's turn to do wicked things to Bodie's
body, making his blood race.

"When?"

"Long time ago."

"Yeah, but when?"

"When do you think?"

Bodie tried hard to think back, but every thought he formed was
quickly snatched away by the sensations of Doyle's hands on his skin,
teasing his erection deliberately. If they didn't get up and onto the
bed soon, there would be another damned complaint about the floor
being too hard for fucking. "Dunno. That first night we made love?"

"Nuh. Before that."

"Then when? We weren't in love till then."

"We were - we just didn't do anything about it."

That much was true. But still Bodie couldn't work out the moment when
his life had been decided for him. However, he was fast losing the
ability to care about it for the moment. "So tell me. When did you
say you'd marry me?"

Finally, Ray opened his eyes, captivating Bodie with one single look,
taking him back so far and yet joining it with the present. "Twenty
years ago, on the day when I agreed to be your partner. We didn't say
for better or worse, but that's what we both meant. Are you going to
tell me now that you don't remember that day?"

Bodie could only smile and took the opportunity to sit up, drawing
Doyle with him. On their feet, Bodie put his arms around the man and
kissed him, deliberately. "Yeah, I remember."

"Good," Ray ran his hands down Bodie's back and pulled him close.
"Now, bed, Bodie."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Your fifteen minutes are up. And you know I can't refuse you
when you're so determined to have your way with me."

This time, Bodie did laugh - and didn't stop until he was on the bed,
his glorious lover wriggling beneath him. Then the laughter died away
as they made love again and this time, when Bodie came inside Ray,
the peace settled around them once more - and didn't fade away with
the morning.

*

The sun had barely risen when Doyle opened his eyes. He couldn't see
much from the bedroom window but the day didn't look too bad. Between
the arms of the spruce, thin shards of blue sky greeted him,
sparkling in the spring morning.

He took in a deep breath and stretched carefully. When there was no
movement on the bed beside him, he rolled slowly, making sure the
covers remained around the man sleeping beside him. Doyle settled
again and half-closed his eyes, keeping the drowsy cocoon of slumber
with him. It was a Sunday morning and there was absolutely no need
for either of them to get up early. No reason to do anything in fact,
except lie here and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Within the peace, he could hear the sounds of the house around him,
little noises he was slowly becoming familiar with. The plumbing
wasn't so great that it didn't let off the odd groan now and then.
Other sounds he could never quite pinpoint. But this place was fairly
old and over the last three months, he'd heard a number of things he
knew he would never actually name. Just part of the charm of living
in such a nice house.

And it was a nice house. Much nicer than his place in Norwich. He'd
bought new furniture, too - or rather, Bodie had. Far different to
the stuff either of them had purchased on their own. Instead, this
was all warm colours, light and dark and friendly. Elena had helped
decorate - she'd wanted to stop the place looking too masculine,
she'd said - and as a result, there were pot plants and Persian rugs
in odd places, drapey curtains and ornate lamp shades. All in all the
effect was one of a place lived in; essentially, a home. It had been
with some surprise when Doyle had realised that's exactly what he had
here. The first one he'd really had since childhood.

And of course, it was never really the furniture and plants that made
it that way. It had more to do with Elena's visits, Kate's visits -
and the man asleep with his head on the pillow beside Doyle's.

Opening his eyes a little more, he took the opportunity to study
Bodie in the soft morning light. His dark hair was tousled and messy,
his thick black lashes unmoving on cheeks barely attended to by the
lines of age. His mouth was open slightly, the lips relaxed and
inviting - and it was all Doyle could do not to lean forward and kiss
them when they looked like that. Or at any time for that matter.

A single bare shoulder was all that peaked out from the covers,
smooth skin covering hard muscle. Just like Bodie, really. Smooth
exterior, hard on the inside - unless, like Doyle, you could actually
get beneath that layer and find that there was a soft side to this
man nobody else ever really got to see.

Elena had found it - quite quickly too. It was odd the bond the two
of them had. Doyle would sometimes come upon them sitting on the sofa
together, giggling like a pair of ten-year-olds. At first, he'd found
it a little disconcerting and he'd questioned Bodie. Rather
predicably, Bodie's reply had been oblique. Something about how he
and Elena had something in common. Doyle had decided to leave it at
that. Nevertheless, the fact that they got on so very well, only made
him more content with this new life.

A third life - and this one so different to those before - and so
much better. He was learning, slowly and carefully, how to meld
himself back into the personality of Alan Cade. A new start, a new
lover, a new home. The people he worked with now knew little of Alan
Cade and therefore didn't notice when he didn't behave exactly as
he'd done for so long. It was a little scary - but he knew it was
time to leave Cade behind and move on. Cade would never leave him
completely but now he could afford to be himself more, he realised
how much he'd missed it all these years.

And it was so hard not being himself when Bodie was around. He simply
couldn't be anybody else. It seemed impossible, but Bodie had, both
day and night, given him a kind of liberation he'd never known
before. Both at work, and at home. Sure, they fought hard, argued and
shouted when they had to - making people at work scurry sometimes -
but when they came home, everything always came out right.

A small smile grew on his face as he looked at Bodie. So delightful
and so irritating, all at the same time. Who would have thought
twenty years ago, that they would end up like this?

And who would have thought just on a year ago, he'd found a
fourteen-year-old nightmare come to an end?

What had he been doing this day last year? Feeling the terrible ache
of loneliness, the darkness of buried grief, doing his best to
survive without any thought of really living? All of that and more,
much worse than words had ever been found to describe.

And so he remembered, clearly - and deliberately for the last time -
the day he'd been told Bodie had died in Africa. How many times
Cowley had murmured the word, sorry, he didn't know - but it was
certainly more than a few. Oddly, he didn't recall too much of how
he'd felt, only of the separate and intrinsic things that had gone on
around him, the guys down the hall, sounds of traffic from beyond the
office window, the look of genuine sorrow in Cowley's eyes as he'd
imparted the news. It had been several minutes before Doyle had even
acknowledged that the screaming he heard beneath all that, was
something only he could hear, in his own head. Now, in the safe haven
of knowing Bodie was alive and living with him, he could again
acknowledge that the scream had never really stopped, not until that
day when, like a beloved ghost, Bodie had walked into his office, a
smile on his face, completely unaware of the damage his presence was
inflicting, nor the healing it was offering.

Yeah, Doyle could still remember the pain of the years before that
day - but the sharpness of it was gone, dulled by a newer, better
reality. He knew one day he would have trouble remembering it at all
but he no longer worried about when that day would come. The simple
fact that it would come gave him breath to pause. But for one short
moment in time, he might have looked forward to a life with that
pain. A life without Bodie, without that smile, that
sometimes-overwhelming presence, that short-hand wisdom and awesome
confidence. He'd known how lucky he was to have Bodie as a partner,
fifteen years ago. He'd also been keenly aware of how lucky they were
that they had fallen in love, had had those three brief months of
happiness together before tragedy had struck.

But that fortune was blown away by the sheer blinding reality that
everything they'd suffered had been undone, been replaced by a new
happiness so much sharper and more poignant because of that
suffering.

And he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he'd give it all up to
keep Bodie. Everything. Yes, even Elena, if he had to. He'd give it
all up because Bodie was everything to him now - always had been.
Everything else had been a pale replacement for the life he really
wanted, an empty escape from the knowledge that he would never have
Bodie in his life again.

Yeah, he was lucky. They both were. Fortune never smiled on anyone
like this. Only bringing about world peace would ever compare to
this… and even then…

"Gonna talk about it - or are you gonna keep it to yourself?" Doyle
started and Bodie opened one eye. "Well?"

"Just thinking."

"No kidding. What about?"

"Nothing. I thought you were asleep."

"Couldn't with those gears and engines grinding away beside me. Told
you I'm a light sleeper. Should think you'd be used to it by now."

Doyle smiled, "Never get used to you."

"Good." Bodie shifted slightly, bringing an arm above the covers. He
lifted his head enough to see the clock on the bedside table behind
Doyle, then let it fall again with a generous sigh. "God, I thought
it was nice and late. I don't wanna get up yet."

"Then don't."

Bodie shook his head, his blue eyes open in narrow slits. "Cm'here."

Doyle moved until Bodie's arm was around his back, felt the depth of
his thoughts warmed by the tactile reminder of that luck. Scratchy
chin hair brushed against his cheek. "What do you want to do today?"

"Mmn, don't know. We could take a drive out into the country?"

"Yeah. Or we could take a boat trip on the canal."

"Nice."

Bodie was silent for a while - then shifted again, pulling Doyle
closer.

"What?"

"Well," Bodie murmured, getting comfortable, "we could just stay
home. Haven't really done that for a while. Might be nice."

"You mean you might mow the lawn?" Doyle chuckled.

"Jesus, Ray, you goin' to ruin my Sunday morning with that kind of
rubbish? I told you, I'm going to pay somebody else to do it."

"Why?"

Now Bodie opened his eyes, "So I don't have to."

Doyle opened his mouth to protest, and found it caught by Bodie's.
Not wanting to look like he was giving in to the inevitable, Doyle
rolled until he had Bodie pinned beneath him - making sure the kiss
remained in tact through the whole manoeuvre. Finally, with Bodie
squirming beneath him, he lifted his head to gaze into those eyes the
colour of the morning sky. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Where were you last night?"

Bodie's eyes rose and he made a half-hearted attempt to get Doyle off
him. "Working."

"We work together, Bodie. You weren't there - and you weren't here.
Where were you?"

"Not where you think."

"Oh?"

"No." Bodie met his gaze and shook his head, "Are you telling me that
after all this time, you don't trust me to be alone with a woman for
an hour and not take her to bed?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then why are you asking?"

"Because you're avoiding telling me." Annoyed, Doyle got off and lay
on his back staring up at the ceiling. For long moments, the silence
grew between them and for the first time, Doyle began to be afraid.

"Ray?"

"What?"

"Are you angry because I didn't get home until late - or because I
was with a woman?"

"I'm angry because you can't seem to tell me what you were doing last
night."

"I told you, I was working."

"In a hotel room, until three this morning, completely alone with a
beautiful young woman who was obviously attracted to you the moment
she saw you?"

"So," Bodie drew the word out, "you don't trust me."

"I didn't say that!" Now really angry, Doyle pulled back the covers
and tried to sit up - but Bodie stopped him, grabbing his arm and
pulling him back down. They fought for a moment, but this time, Bodie
won, pinning Doyle beneath him.

"Tell me, Ray," Bodie said quite calmly, "do you think I went to bed
with her?"

Gritting his teeth, Doyle shook his head, "No."

"Then what's wrong?"

Doyle screwed up his face and shook his head again, "Jesus, Bodie,
don't you know?"

A smile grew across Bodie's face then and he touched a kiss to
Doyle's nose. "Yeah, I love you too. Especially when you're jealous
of nothing. God, your eyes go so green when you're angry."

"Leave off, Bodie!" Doyle tried to squirm away again - but didn't
really put all the effort necessary into getting himself free. He
wasn't really jealous - just angry. Last night had been the first
night since they'd moved in when Bodie hadn't gone to bed with him.
How could he not wonder if the honeymoon was over?

"Ray?"

"What?"

Bodie prefaced his question with a deep kiss - which Doyle only
resisted for a moment. "I was supposed to stay with her the whole
night - but I got somebody else in because I had to get home. Raised
a few eyebrows, I can tell you."

"So?"

"So, you great idiot, if you think I'm going to stray after only a
few months of wedded bliss, then you've got another thing coming. I
have fourteen years to make up for - so don't expect me to pack my
bags until I've had at least every one of them paid back. Besides,
who else would have the patience to love me the way you do, eh?"

Doyle found himself laughing - and when Bodie's fingers began to
tickle him, he squirmed again, deliberately grinding his groin into
Bodie's.

"Now, you're playing unfair," Bodie grinned.

"But that's the most fun." Doyle lapped his tongue out at a nipple
close by and Bodie hissed.

"I'll make you pay for that!" True to his word, he took Doyle's mouth
in a searing kiss, forcing his legs between Doyle's until their
hastily growing erections pressed together. But Bodie didn't settle
with that. Keeping the pressure up, he grabbed lube from the
nightstand as kisses and the weight of his body kept Doyle prisoner.
Bodie prepared him, not letting his mouth free for one moment. Doyle
was having difficulty breathing now, his arms no longer fighting the
man he loved, but joining him in this frantic, early-morning
love-making. When Bodie mounted him, it was sweet, brisk and yet
tender at the same time, delightful, lazy and still urgent. Neither
of them lasted long, exploding together, gasping in air.

Afterwards, Bodie lay between his legs, touching kisses along his
throat, a slow exploration, a loving meander. "God, you are so hard
to resist. So beautiful. So damned sexy. Sometimes I don't know what
stops me from simply throwing you down and raping you some days."

"Oh, Bodie, you could never rape me." Doyle replied huskily, warmed
deeply by those soft-spoken words.

"I promise you, I could. Looking at you day after day. You get me so
turned on sometimes - especially at work."

"But it still wouldn't be rape. I'd never say no to you."

"Well," Bodie smiled against his cheek, "you might change your mind
next time we're in a meeting and I look at you that way. And I'm
probably suffocating you right now, too."

"No, I'm okay. Don't move, please." Doyle replied, knowing that the
moment Bodie moved, they'd be separated again. "You could stay there
all day if I had my way."

"Oh? So, you don't want to go out?"

"Would you rather stay in?" Doyle replied, giggling.

"Well, it's been a while…"

"A week and a half." Doyle tried to shrug, keeping a straight face,
"Can I help it if I find your arse too gorgeous to ignore?"

"I'd probably kill you if you did."

Doyle couldn't help grinning, "So you do want to stay in?"

"As it happens," Bodie affected nonchalance, picked up his hand and
kissed it.

"I do love you so much, Bodie, and sometimes, I really wish I could…
help you understand what this… well, how this…

"Come on, Ray, out with it." Bodie watched him with a careful gaze,
neither mocking nor serious. Simply attentive.

Doyle paused, trying to collect the jumble of thoughts scattered
around inside, anchoring himself with the feel of Bodie's solid body
lying the length of his. Then he took a breath, "You don't care who I
am and that makes it… okay, you know? It's like…"

"What?" Bodie asked softly, letting him work through it.

"Like…" Doyle frowned, trying to piece it together so that it would
make sense. "Like Cade's alive in me simply because you love me
regardless and that… kinda defeats the lie. You know, like it's not a
lie any more. I'm sorry, I know it sounds silly but…"

"No, it doesn't." A deep sound, comforting and warm.

"You make us one person, Bodie. You know the truth and that makes it
okay for me to live with the lie. Does that make sense?"

Bodie smiled gently, "'Course it does, love. You always make sense to
me - even when you don't."

Absorbing that rich gift, Doyle continued, "And I really didn't think
you'd slept with that woman. I was just disappointed when you didn't
come to bed last night. It was the first time."

"I know, love. I know. And it's going to happen every now and then.
We just have to live with it - and with everything else we've got, I
think we'll cope."

"Yeah, 'course we will. Sorry."

Another beautiful Bodie-smile was followed with, "Actually, I didn't
mind the jealousy. I wasn't kidding about how green your eyes go.
Now, about staying in today…"

His voice trailed off as they both heard the front door unlock and
open - then slam shut, immediately followed by an exclamation.

"Sorry!" Elena's voice called up the stairs. "Dad? Bodie? Anybody
home?"

"What's she doing here so early?" Bodie murmured.

"Don't know - but she is due back today."

"So much for staying in." Bodie grinned.

"Dad?" Elena's footsteps were coming up the stairs - and quickly but
carefully Bodie withdrew from Doyle and rolled over on the bed. Doyle
collected himself and tried to straighten up the covers, hide what
they'd been doing.

"In here, Elena!"

Bodie was laughing at Doyle's efforts. He dropped his voice low,
"Love, she knows full well what goes on in this bed. No point in
trying to hide it."

"Shut up!" Doyle hissed.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course you can," Bodie replied. "We're decent now."

Hesitantly, the door opened and Elena's pretty face peered around.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't," Bodie smiled. "Sit."

Elena came close and perched on Bodie's side of the bed. Bodie sat up
against the headboard and took Doyle's hand. "What are you doing back
so early?"

"Um… I didn't… disturb anything did I?"

Doyle stifled a groan but Bodie grinned. "No, dear, you didn't."

She looked at each of them carefully then proceeded. "I was wondering
if you had plans for the day."

"Not exactly. Why?" Giving up any attempt at being demure, Doyle
settled in against Bodie's warmth and watched his daughter. Bodie was
right, Elena had been around them enough to know what kind of sex
went on in this room. They were both men, after all. Nevertheless,
there were still the shreds of fatherly instinct left inside him that
made him a little awkward at moments like this, when she'd almost
caught them at it. When she stayed overnight - which wasn't that
often, he found himself deliberately stifling any noises he would
normally make during the act of love. He knew it was silly, knew she
loved them both, knew she knew what they were doing - and yet, he
still found some small instinct to protect her. Wasn't sure it was
ever going to wear off. Not even sure he wanted it to.

Shrugging the thoughts aside, he gazed steadily at her as she sat on
the bed. She was hiding something - and it wasn't just embarrassment
at having almost caught them in the act.

"Well… I know you two are still pretty much a secret and everything
but I was wondering, Dad if you would put together one of your
wonderful lunches."

"What about my wonderful lunches," Bodie frowned. "Not good enough
for you now, eh?"

Elena smiled at that, always susceptible to Bodie's humour. "It's
just that, well, there's somebody I'd like you to meet."

Doyle blinked. "Somebody? Special?"

Nodding, Elena said, "Yeah. Very. Would you mind?"

Doyle swapped a glance with Bodie then turned back to his daughter.
"Of course not. What time should we expect this special person?"

"Twelve?" Elena looked worried for a moment. "I haven't told him
about you living together - or even being a couple. But he's
definitely not homophobic or anything. He's cool about it. But if you
don't want anybody knowing, you know, I don't mind…"

"Rubbish," Bodie sat up, took her hand and squeezed it. "If he's as
special as you say, he won't go blabbing about it, will he? And if he
does? Well, it has to come out some time. So, am I really not allowed
to cook - or is the matter negotiable?"

Elena began laughing and stood up, "God, Bodie you are incorrigible.
No wonder my father couldn't resist you. I'll let you alone now and
go and do some shopping. Be back in an hour." She was out the door
before she added, "And Dad - don't let that man distract you! You've
got work to do!" The door slammed shut after her.

Doyle was laughing uncontrollably by this point, and glanced up only
to find Bodie watching him with a deadpan expression. "As if I'd
distract you! Huh!"

Shaking his head, Doyle simply rolled over and kissed Bodie soundly.
Then he looked at Bodie steadily. "You know, love, somehow I don't
think losing fourteen years together has made one jot of difference,
do you?"

"Nope." Bodie held him close, "Just all that much more catching up to
do."

"Not to mention all that lawn mowing."

Now Bodie was laughing, too. "Okay, okay, you win. I'll go mow the
lawn for our daughter's new man. But next week I'm paying somebody
else to do it - so I can do some more of this catching up stuff."

"Is that a promise?" Doyle snuggled close, lifting his face to
Bodie's.

Bodie nodded, sombrely, "Absolutely." He paused, taking Doyle's hand
in his, lifting it to his lips. "You know what today is?"

"Yeah," Doyle nodded, equally sobered. "A year since you walked into
my office."

"Yeah," Bodie breathed, his eyes searching Doyle's.

Hesitant, Doyle paused, not sure if he wanted to remember - but
knowing he couldn't ignore it completely. "How do you feel?"

"In a word?" Bodie's expression became about as serious as Doyle had
ever seen it, "Humble."

Sudden tears pricked at Doyle's eyes, making Bodie smile gently.
"Jesus, Bodie…"

"Yeah, I know, love, I know. There but for the grace of god."

Trying to release the sudden tension in his chest, Doyle pulled him
closer, held him tighter, "How did you know?"

In answer, Bodie touched a finger to his lips, let it trail down to
his chin, "I know I use all the words I can, but Ray, I don't think
I'm ever going to be able to tell you what you mean to me."

"You don't need to, Bodie," Doyle whispered, a sob caught in his
throat. "If it's half what I feel…

"So how could I not know what you would be lying there, thinking,
first thing this morning? Why it was so important to both of us that
I come home last night, so we could spend this time together?"

"But you did, Bodie," Doyle pressed a brief touch of his lips to
Bodie's. He met Bodie's gaze once more, the heaviness lifting from
him, powered by the look in those blue eyes. "You came home to me."

"Yeah," Bodie gave him a slow smile, bringing fourteen years of
sorrow to an end in that one moment. "Yeah, I did. Always will."

And with that, he deliberately did his best to distract Doyle with
another deep loving kiss, one that not only sealed that promise, but
everything else.

~finis
 
 
 

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