I am pain and fear and loss. That's all I've ever been, in all the many lives I've lived. Loss is my god, fear is my tribute and pain is my reward. Even before I began to remember, I knew that.
He doesn't understand. He only sees the beauty, the harmony of it all, not the price that must be paid, over and over again. But he's always been like that; I certainly can't expect him to change now.
It all began 2 weeks ago. I came home after a particularly fucked up day to find a naked girl sprawled on my floor. Sandburg was hovering over her, painting weird designs on her back. Too turned on (not by the girl) to be angry, I stood and watched.
The girl; quite a looker, with long, dark hair and a great body, at least what I could see of it; turned her head and smiled at me. It was a sexy, "come and get it", smile; wasted on me I'm afraid. Sandburg held my attention. He was unfortunately, full clothed, but his hair was down, framing his face, which was a picture of intense concentration. His hands moved over the naked skin with such skill and assurance, that I wondered if I could find a way to get him to talk me into doing to me whatever he was doing to her.
"We've got company, Blair," the girl purred, still eyeing me.
He glanced up, noticed me and grunted a "Hi Jim", then went back to his painting. Turned on or not, I hate being ignored, so I cleared my throat loudly and put on my best 'Jim's pissed' look.
"What's going on here?" I demanded.
Without even looking, he responded, "It's Mendi, Jim. The Indian art of body painting. I've been studying it and Tiffi was kind enough to volunteer to let me practice on her."
Tiffi, huh? Well, Tiffi's little plans for Blair-ala-mode where about to come to an end, if I had anything to do with it. "I've had a bad day, Chief. Can you wrap this up, or take it to a motel, please?" I knew he wouldn't go the motel route, not unless Tiffi was willing to spring for it.
Sandburg turned his big blue, not quite understanding what my problem was, eyes on me. "What's wrong, Jim? This is art, not sex."
"Yeah, right," I sneered, heading for the kitchen for a beer. "There's a naked girl in the loft, and you're not trying to get her into bed, or wherever."
He followed me into the kitchen, just as I planned. "This is not about sex, Jim," he repeated.
"Sure it's not, Chief."
"Look Jim, I needed someone to practice on and she volunteered. It didn't have to be her; it didn't even have to be a woman," he protested, anger coloring his cheeks. "It could have been anyone. It could have been you."
Bingo. "There's no way in hell that I'd let you do that, what was it, Mendi, to me. Does it even come off? I don't want to go through life with your fingerpainting all over me."
Oh, he was mad. Eyes flashing, hands on hips; my little student of the obscure and bizarre wanted only one thing now: me naked and spread out before him. Some days life really is worth living.
"You know, Jim you need to consider expanding you horizons. There's a whole world of new experiences out there to be enjoyed. There's more to life than having a beer and watching Starsky & Hutch reruns."
He grabbed me and yanked my shirt up. I shoved him away; it doesn't pay to seem to eager.
"Hold still!" he ordered, cornering me in front of the stove.
"Get off," i snarled, my half-hearted attempts to push him away, proving suspiciously ineffective. It's a wonder he didn't figure out that since I could body-slam him across the room, I shouldn't have any problem defending myself from the hands that had succeeded in getting my shirt off.
Tiffi choose that moment to join the action. 5'10" (Blair likes 'em tall) of naked girl sauntered up to us, smirking. "Need any help?" She was thinking threesome, but I was thinking bye-bye bimbo.
Staring at her for all the world, as if he had no idea what she was doing in the loft, Sandburg answered, "uh,no thank Tiffi." Taking her by the elbow and escorting her back to her clothes, he continued with his charming brush off. "I really appreciate your helping me out, but I think we should call it a night."
She continued to object as she dressed and Sandburg continued to smooth things over as only he could. I, on the other hand, was debating whether or not to take my pants off, just to speed things along.
Finally, Tiffi was dressed and shoved out the door. My Artist picked up his tube of paint and regarded me expectantly, "Well, come over here, Jim and take your pants off."
"Have you lost your mind? I'm not taking my pants off!" I bellowed in outrage. I really should win an award for these performances.
"Don't be ridiculous. Now get over here and take your clothes off, or do you want me to do it for you?" he threatened.
Oh yeah, baby, do I ever! Grumbling, I complied. As I stripped down, I stole a glance at him. He was studying m with open admiration. I shivered; what would it be like to be that free of fear and guilt?
"You cold?" He never missed a thing.
"No," I muttered and lay down on the blanket he had spread on the floor for Tiffi. "You want me on my stomach?" "Yeah."
The paint was cool against my skin. Sandburg was applying it with the tube instead of his hands, like I wanted, but the closeness was wonderful. As he drew his designs, his hair would occasionally scrape across my back. I closed my eyes and enjoyed.
An eternity later, he asked, "I'm done with your back. Can I work on your legs?"
Was there hesitation in his voice? If so, why? "Knock yourself out, Chief," I answered as nonchalantly as I could manage.
His warm hands lifted my calf up. "Keep your leg like this."
I would have preferred his hands on my thighs, but I wasn't complaining. He worked in silence, and I let my body relax. Just being here with him like this seemed so natural, like it was meant to be.
He began on my feet. It took all of my self control not to move. I'm ticklish and that's not the sort of thing that I'd want to get out. Sandburg was saying something and suddenly, I wasn't there any more.
***********
Golden skin under my hands; a mouth surrendering to my demands. . . So good, so much better than anything else. I wrapped a length of blonde hair around my hand and pulled her head back, exposing her pale neck. I greedily attacked it. Her pulse beat against my tongue. I sucked, while she squirmed with delight. She complained about a monster-sized hickey, but I was too far gone to care.
With strength that always surprised me, she dragged my head away from her neck and down to her breasts. Two hperfect globes, begging for attention. Lovingly, I closed my lips around an erect pink nipple and teased it with my tongue. Her legs wrapped eagerly around my waist, demanding more. She would have it. I would make her scream and then she would do the same for me. But always her first, always.
I found the fiery spot between her legs and rubbed the sensitive nub. She gasped, and forced my face southward. So be it.
*********
I jerked up, smearing the paint on my legs and feet. I was back in the loft.
"I'm sorry, Jim. I didn't mean anything by it," Sandburg, his eyes wide with distress, was saying.
"What?" I answered distracted. Who had the girl been? I'd never seen her before in my life.
"All I meant was that you work out and your body is in great shape. I'm sorry if you took that to mean um, anything else."
As confused as I was, I could still tell that he was scared to death. I reached out and gripped his shoulder. "It's okay, Chief. Everything's all right."
He smiled and then his head was against my chest. My heart forgot to beat as I encircled him with my arms. The world had gone crazy. Was that hesitant kisses I felt?
"Yes, God, yes!" I exploded, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling his head back so I could plunder his mouth.
I pushed Blair down on the floor and covered him with my body. Possession is nine-tenths of the law, was all my addled brain could think of at that moment. He whispered my name, as I rained kisses on his face. His hands ran wildly over me, spreading the black paint everywhere; my skin, his skin, his clothes, the blanket. It didn't matter. Sex is suppose to be messy, if it's any good, that is.
We got in each other's way trying to get his clothes off. Frustration made me ready to start ripping fabric, but he shoved me away, and started struggling out of layer after layer of clothing. I sat there watching him, my heart pounding, and my breath coming in ragged gasps. I felt like a wild animal desperate to mate. My dick was standing at attention and weeping with anticipation; a fact not lost on Blair. One of the advantages of being a Sentinel is being able to hear and smell your lover's heat, and he was burning for me.
The last of his clothes fell away. I barely had a chance to take in his beautiful nakedness; his furry chest, small hips, and quivering shaft, before he knocked me over and pounced on me. Grunting, he kissed and nipped his way across my chest. Ecstatically, I arched into him.
Abruptly, he moved down and buried his head between my legs. I wanted it so bad, but this was not the way it was supposed to be. With what felt like a herculean effort, I pushed his head away. Answering his confused look with a smile, I flipped him over so that he was on his back.
"I want to taste you, Jim!" he complained.
Briefly, I nuzzled his chest, luxuriating in that soft mat of fur. Then I made my way to the perfect dripping rod. Smaller than mine, of course; since he was smaller than me, but perfect none the less.
I had done this many times before, but never like this. Always it had been hurried, and shameful; a desperate, need that had to be satisfied. I had never once made love to a man that I cared anything about. It was a weakness, a flaw in my character. If I were a stronger man, I wouldn't feel this way. At least, that's what I'd always been lead to believe.
But now, oh now, everything was different. Reverently, I tasted the precum coating the tip of his cock. All my heightened senses were focused on breaking down and analyzing this essence of Blair. He had a unique flavor; spice and musk, combined with an unidentifiable, but completely addictive ingredient. The street value for this stuff would shoot through the roof, I thought with a grin.
"Jim, please!" he begged and all other thoughts, save satisfying him vanished. I kneaded his balls and stroked his cock with my tongue. He was gasping and crying and trying to grasp a handful of my hair. I had him at a disadvantage there. When it was his turn. . Shuddering with anticipation, I throated him.
He cried out, wiggling and squirming in a most Blair-like way. I sucked firmly and steadily, one hand on his dick, the other clutching a hand full of ass. At last he found a rhythm that he liked and thrust against me eagerly.
There's a trick to cock-sucking; you have to relax your throat and suppress your gag reflex. I could give lectures on the subject. I wonder what the alumni would say if Rainier offered Fellatio and Sodomy 101?
Little mewlng sound began to come from his throat and I nearly lost it. My own dick was screaming as I grabbed his with both hands and began to massage it, all the while sucking and scraping it's head with my teeth. I knew when he was about to come, and I was prepared. His body stiffened, then spasmed and a white, hot jet of Blair filled my mouth. It was too much of him inside of me. I zoned.
Minutes or hours later, I don't know, I came out of it to find myself lying on my back, while a curly haired angel lovingly kissed my cock. No more shame now, I grasped those curls and pushed his face against me.
He smiled up at me. "Welcome back, Jim!" Then the little wolfboy bit me. The glorious pain! I had been afraid that Blair had never done it with another man before, but the waves of pleasure that he was ripping from me said that that wasn't a concern.
"Baby!" I moaned.
"Baby!" His head jerked up and he glared at me. "You can't do any better than that?"
"I'm sorry, Chief, but I don't feel particularly articulate right now. What do you want me to call you?" I gasped. "Ares, God of War."
Rolling my eyes, I said, "Okay, Ares, God of War. I want to fuck your mouth right now if that's not gonna be a problem."
He smiled beatifically and swallowed my dick. At that point, I realized my pride at my abilities in the blowjob department were blown, as it were, out of proportion. My demon lover had, and I swear this is true, my entire dick down his throat! I would have zoned again, but it felt too good. All I could do was lay there and let him do unspeakable and physically impossible things to my lucky cock.
It took him 30 minutes to blow me. He kept bringing me to the edge, then backing off. When he was finally done tormenting me, he pinched the base of my cock between his thumb and forefinger and I exploded. I've never had that much before! He swallowed it all, and licked me clean. Then he crawled up my body, fluffed me like a pillow and settled down on top of me.
I wanted to say, "I love you", and "Stay with me forever", but I'm not 22 any more, so I passed out instead.
************
I was with her again. We were naked, laying on a blanket in a forest, curled around each other. A tiny portion of my brain pointed out that I was now a woman and this was not quite the way thing were supposed be.
Most of me didn't care. I was happy, sated, and snuggled up to the only person that I had ever truly loved with all my heart and soul. I touched her face and she smiled, and I didn't care about what the future would bring, as long as we were together.
The Romans came from nowhere. We were surrounded. I jumped to my feet with an evil smile on my face.
"Sorry boys, but this is a girl's only party," I sneered and drop kicked the nearest one across the clearing and into a tree.
They charged, murder and other unpleasant thoughts, on there minds. I had several advantages though. First of all, I was inhumanly strong: I could fling the Romans around like they were rag dolls. Secondly, I was a beautiful naked woman, and speaking from a man's point of view, that's a huge distraction, even to one who doesn't quite walk the straight and narrow.
My lover was on her feet, swinging a wooden staff, and leaving a pile of groaning soldiers in her wake. We made short work of them. They picked up their wounded and slunk away.
"What did they want?" she asked.
"Me, Gabrielle, Caesar wants me."
Go to Part 2 of Beyond the Setting Sun
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