Created with the Internettrash HTML Editor
Humour m/f
PG
All Due South characters belong to Alliance and not to me, unfortunately.
"Desperate measures, that's what it's going to take, desperate measures," Francesca muttered to herself as she gazed longingly at the Mountie of her dreams.
It had been over three years since her brother Ray had brought Fraser to the Vecchio home for dinner and into her heart forever. In all that time she had been unable to get the godlike, yet thick headed canadian to understand how attracted to him she was. Some times, it seemed like he was purposely playing dumb to try to avoid a confrontation with her. She shook her head. Of course not , that couldn't be it.
Smoothing her leather micro miniskirt she made her way over to her brother's desk, where Fraser and the pod person who had temporarily assumed her brother's identity were deep in conversation over some meaningless police thing. Pressing her body against the hard muscles of her dream man, she whispered, "Hi Fraser."
The dear, sweet innocent backed away from her hastily and positioning himself so that Ray was between the two of them. "Hello Francesca. H-how are you today?"
"Oh, I don't know," she breathed, leaning forward to give Fraser a good look at her cleavage. "I feel kind of restless; like I have a lot of energy that I need to work off."
"Yeah, I'll bet," Ray snickered.
Glancing at her fake brother, she asked, "Ray, when did you get here?"
"Very funny. Now stop pestering Fraser; we've got a case to work on."
"I'm so sure you do," she flipped her hair disdainfully. "You're probably about to make the blast of the century. ."
"Bust! Bust of the century," Ray said disgustedly.
"Bust, blast , whatever!" She looked at Fraser and smiled invitingly, " I just wanted say hello to Fraser and to ask for his help. You see Lt. Walsh asked me to go get the old coffee maker out of the supply closet, the cappucino machine is on the fritz, and of course, I can't carry it by myself, so I thought that Fraser would. . "she trailed off.
All the blood drained from Fraser's face. "Certainly, Francesca. I can hardly refuse.. "
Ray interrupted, "Get somebody else Frannie, we're busy here."
She pouted. "Everyone is too busy to help me. There's only Fraser."
Sighing resignedly, Fraser said, "I'll be happy to assist you in any way I can."
Francesca smiled victoriously, as Fraser started after her.
Ray grabbed the mountie by the arm and said firmly, "He's not going with you. You just want to get him alone in there so you grope him in private."
"You disgusting, skinny little weasel!"
"Ray, I'm sure Francesca would never do such a thing."
"Oh yes she would, and you don't have to put up with it. We got laws in this country about sexual harassment," Ray smiled wickedly as Francesca turned an alarming shade of red.
"You shifty eyed. .Fine, that's fine. I will go and drag that enormous coffe maker out by myself. What does it matter if I throw my back out? It's only me, Frannie, department slave! Please, continue with your important work!" She turned on her heels and marched away.
"Wait, Francesca, " Fraser moved to follow her, but Ray held up an arm
to block him.
"No you don't. She has to learn to think of you as a human being and not just as a sex object."
"But Ray, she might hurt herself.. "
The argument continued as Francesca opened the door to the supply closet. She smiled knowing that sooner or later Fraser's boy scout nature would sent him to her. She closed the door. Climbing up on a footstool she unscrewed the lightbulb and tossed it to the side. Now, it was only a matter of waiting.
The minutes ticked by. For a moment Francesca began to doubt her plan. Then she heard the knob turn. That's my boy, she thought excitedly and quickly stood behind the door. It opened and a form entered. She slammed the door shut. She stood there listening to the sound of her own heart beat and someone trying repeatedly to turn the light on. "It's now or never!" she whispered and launched herself into what she hoped was the right direction.
Success! She made contact with a solid body. She reached up and grabbed a head and pulled it down to her level. She attacked the stunned mouth with her own. Panicked arms flailed around and try to push her away, but she encircled his neck with a vice like grip. Finally, he stopped resisting and wrapped his arms around her.
Overjoyed that her fantasies were about to come true, Francesca let loose of his neck and yanked his shirt up so that she could run her hands over his perfect body. As she felt his hot flesh under her fingers, two things occured to her at the same time:
1. Fraser was in desperate need of some home cooking, because she could feel his bones standing out under his skin.
and
2. Wasn't Fraser supposed to be wearing his usual red serge over his shirt?
The awful truth hit her and she shrieked, shoving the much too light body away from her.
She ran for the door and flung it open. Lying on the floor, grinning like a fool, was Ray.
"Wow Frannie! I didn't know you could kiss like that! You nearly sucked my tonsils out."
Wringing her hands in dismay, and trying to get the taste of Ray out of her mouth, she demanded, "What are you doing here? Where's Fraser?"
Stilling smiling, Ray jumped to his feet. "Fraser was worried that you might really need help, so I volunteered to come and check it out." He started towards her. "So Frannie, you want to maybe shut that door and we can pick up where we left off?"
Francesca backed out into the hall. "Listen carefully, Boneboy. This never happened; is that clear? You never kissed me and I never kissed you. If you ever say otherwise I will hunt you down and make you suffer." Giving him one last glance of sheer disgust, she headed into the ladies room to gargle.
Watching Frannie leave, Ray didn't hear Fraser come up beind him. He jumped in surprise when he said, "Well, Ray, is Francesca all right?"
Running his hands through his spikey blond hair he answered, "Oh yeah. She's more than all right."
the end
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