While urine can smell strongly, the really offensive odors in the bathroom are caused by Number Two above.
To do your Number Two, whether you are male or female, you need to pull down your lower garments and sit on the toilet. What happens thereafter depends on you. The act of shitting may be accompanied by noises -- grunts and crackling sounds and heavy breathing, as well as the noise of wind or gas escaping from your anus. This act of expelling wind or gas is called farting. Farting is considered further on the Bathroom page. Shit is expelled as a series of turds of consistency varying from liquid (diarrhea, uncomfortable and abnormal) to very hard and dry and difficult to expel though the anal sphincter (constipation, uncomfortable and abnormal). The consistency of most people's turds lies somewhere between these two extremes.
The following lines, attributed to Lord Byron, make a very suitable inscription for the back of a toilet-stall door (Cloacina was the goddess of sewers):
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O Cloacina, goddess of this
place, |
You may spend quite some time engaged in shitting. The length of stay on the pot may vary with different individuals from three minutes to thirty. Do not feel embarrassed if your bowel movements take a long time. It is a pleasurable activity, so make the most of it.
If you want to see what a bowelmovement looks like from inside the body, click here to see an X-ray movie of an emerging turd.
After your business is complete, you then have to clean up your anal area with toilet paper. The normal technique is to wipe with successive sheets of toilet paper until there is no trace of shit on the paper. It is more hygienic to wipe from front (pubic area) to back, than vice versa, to avoid traces of shit in or near your private parts.
If you then stand up and look at what you have done, what you see might look like this:
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or this |
At this stage, you would normally flush the toilet and start to wash. It is very desirable that invisible traces of fecal material on the hands should be removed by thorough washing. To be sure of removing any traces of shit that might stain your underpants and lead to skidmarks in them, if you can you should then sit on the bidet and wash your arse-hole.
If you have shat one or more really big turds, you might end up blocking the toilet. If this happens, then as it is MY bathroom, I ask you to deal with the stoppage. First put plenty of toilet paper over the offending "logs", and then, using the bush provided, break up the objects in question and flush, repeating if necessary. When all has flushed, clean the brush by holding it in the flush-stream or syphon current.
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If you enjoy pictures of turds, visit the Mr Poop website, from which the picture on the right is taken. There are at least 27 superb turd pictures for your enjoyment on that site. |
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Of course some people do not feel the need to use the toilet for their turds, they just squat down and do their business, like this Japanese girl.
For a detailed discussion of bowel movements and anal hygiene, see AfraidtoAsk.com's Bowel Movement Guide.
Page created by Coprologist (E-mail coprologist@farts.com). Last revised 2 January, 2001.
