1. FACT: Marilyn Monroe was shagged to death by the Kennedys
2. FACT: 55% of US Citizens believe in UFO's
3. FACT: The Americans DID NOT invent the Internet
4. FACT: The Hiroshima bomb was a scientific experiment
5. FACT: The Vietnam war was pointless
6. FACT: America lost the Vietnam war, to men wearing pyjamas
7. FACT: Americans invented napalm
8. FACT: American women have fat arses
9. FACT: Americans talk too loudly
10. FACT: Americans have no sense of irony
11. FACT: Ex vice president Dan Quayle thought the people of Latin America spoke Latin
12. FACT: Whenever there's a World War, America always waits until Britain has won it before entering
13. FACT: Americans always rewrite history, portraying themselves as heroes
14. FACT: Liberace
15. FACT: 47 per cent of Americans--and a quarter of college graduates--believe humans did not evolve, but were created by God a few thousand years ago
16. FACT: Americans have stupid names like Dexter and Merl
17. FACT: Nearly 3 delicatessens are required to make a single American sandwich
18. FACT: There simply aren't 236 ways of making coffee
19. FACT: The word subtelty isn't in the American vocabulary
20. FACT: Nearly all American high school students have murdered someone
21. FACT: The TV evangelist is a wholly American phenomenon
22. FACT: All American athletes at the Los Angeles olympics cheated
23. FACT: In every single Presidential election, the tallest candidate has won
24. FACT: Every American president has been a freemason
25. FACT: The Ku Klux Klan
26. FACT: America was the second nation to put a man in space
27. FACT: Southpark would be more popular in America if it wasn't so intellectually demanding
28. FACT: American beer is the weakest in the world
29. FACT: America likes to declare war on tiny central American countries
30. FACT: The CIA war against poor Central Americans was paid for by selling crack to blacks
31. FACT: Most blacks thought it was a good idea
32. FACT: The indigenous people of America were murdered by the white settlers
33. FACT: Murdering indigenous populations is still a popular American pastime
34. FACT: The CIA tried to poison Fidel Castro's beard
35. FACT: The 'land of the free' only has two political parties, both Tory
36. FACT: The Americans bought London bridge and then erected it in the desert
37. FACT: The Americans think Benny Hill is funny
38. FACT: America was the last nation on Earth to abolish slavery
39. FACT: Most Americans think slavery should be reintroduced
40. FACT: John deLorean
41. FACT: The Americans invented crack cocaine
42. FACT: JFK's brain has never been found
43. FACT: Drive-through liquor stores
44. FACT: J. Edgar Hoover, former head of the FBI was a cross-dresser known as Mary
45. FACT: Most American multi-nationals make products which are useless - McDonalds, Coke, Pepsi, Disney etc.
46. FACT: Coca-Cola used to have cocaine in it
47. FACT: Only an American could have invented the 'chilli-dawg'
48. FACT: The baseball 'World Series' only involves two teams, both from America
49. FACT: Americans don't understand football
50. FACT: Diana Ross missed an open goal in the World Cup opening ceremony
51. FACT: The 'workout video' was invented in America
52. FACT: In America you can be jailed for teaching evolution
53. FACT: The American army can't salute properly
54. FACT: Everyone in America is completely paranoid
55. FACT: Americans don't know how to make cheese
56. FACT: Americans really do say 'have a nice day'
57. FACT: Every American town is exactly the same
58. FACT: Over 90% of a typical American TV broadcast consists of adverts
59. FACT: On average, Americans watch between 6 and 7 hours of TV per day
60. FACT: The title of the film 'the madness of King George' was originally 'the madness of George III'. It was changed because Americans would have wondered what had happened to the first two films about George's madness !
61. FACT: American tourists are the most gullible people in the world
62. FACT: The average American fridge is bigger than the average British house
63. FACT: American food is European food with extra 'everything'
64. FACT: Most Americans think handguns make the world a safer place
65. FACT: At the Atlanta Olympic games the Russian female gymnasts (average age 13) were booed by the American audience
66. FACT: The Americans won the last Ryder cup by staging a pitch invasion before the match was over
67. FACT: America didn't qualify for the last Americas cup
68. FACT: Most Americans have 'therapy'
69. FACT: The American government threatened trade sanctions when Vaclav Havel appointed Frank Zappa as Czech minister for culture
70. FACT: Most Americans think it's necessary for their country to possess a nuclear arsenal capable of destroying the entire planet 50 times over 71. FACT: The Atlantic ocean is too narrow
72. FACT: Most Americans thought the 'Blair Witch Project' was an actual documentary
73. FACT: American beauty pageants encourage paedophiles, yet they still take place
74. FACT: Recently an American on death row sold tickets for his own execution, then used the money generated to finance his appeal
75. FACT: 75% of black Americans are on death row
76. FACT: Americans consider the frying of live people to constitute acceptable justice
77. FACT: In America a 100 year old building is considered to be an ancient monument
78. FACT: OJ Simpson is innocent, apparently
79. FACT: American radio stations play both kinds of music - Country and Western !
80. FACT: The Bald Eagle isn't bald
81. FACT: Cuba is a really nice place to go on holiday
82. FACT: Americans think genetically modified food is really tasty
83. FACT: Web sites based on family values and the American way are the most obnoxious thing about the internet
84. FACT: Stretch Hum-Vees
85. FACT: Most American college fraternity members are gay
86. FACT: Fidel Castro is still in power
87. FACT: Lunchmeat
88. FACT: 25% of US University students believe that France is in Africa
89. FACT: Lite rhymes with shite
90. FACT: Adolph Coors, the American beer tycoon is a Nazi.
91. FACT: General Custer was a blond haired homosexualist
92. FACT: Most Americans think Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK
93. FACT: A B-52 once dropped four hydrogen bombs on Spain.
94. FACT: The average American shits more protein than the average African eats.
95. FACT: Fluorocarbons, one of the most toxic families of chemicals on Earth, were invented by General Motors.
96. FACT: MartyCamŽ is the USA's favourite website
97. FACT: The School of the Americas trains deaths squads
98. FACT: The Warren Commission
99. FACT: The average American contributes 10 times more hydrocarbons to the air than anyone else, mostly from their arse 100. FACT: Alcoholics Anonymous was started by an American stockbroker
101. FACT: Most Americans thought it was news that Reagan had Alzheimers

13/6/2000