Later that night Marty wakes up with an aching erection. He's ready again for action, and this time he wants her ass. Marty's new friend is also keen that he explores the 'Path least travelled by' and turns over ready for 'butt' fun.

But disaster. Marty has no Baby Oil, K-Y jelly or other suitable lubricant to hand.

Marty is not easily confused when on the path of a good shag and thinks on his feet. He makes his excuses (off for a Piss) and toddles off to the Kitchen to get a drinking glass full of fresh Vegetable oil.

Marty returns, vegetable oil hidden behind his back, lubricates his Tadge and off he goes. Marty's friend meanwhile is oblivious to the chip oil outrage being perpetrated on her backside.

The following morning Marty tells all, hoping that the prior warning will cover any embarrassment, and finishes with a flourish by indicating the half full glass of Spry Crisp and Dry next to his bed. Unfortunately his new friend is not so impressed nor does she see the humour in the situation. She leaves hastily and has never seen Marty again.

The delicate reader will no doubt be weighing the pros and cons of Marty's behaviour; did he not tell her that he was of a Dirty persuasion? Did he not ask if she wanted to have anal sex? Did he not need a good lubricant? And yet something deep in all of us will be a little unsettled at Marty's use of chip oil, particularly the next time we fill the deep fat fryer.