Martina Beats Off All Comers

Our on the spot reporter has just filed this story...

Not content with her recent beating off of a room full of male Tennis players, Martina Hingiss, the stunning Swiss tennis ace has just announced that she will beat of all comers in next weeks North Australian Open.

One of her biggest rivals, Dame Thora Hird said that "Martina may think she is on winning form ,but it takes more than fancy wrist work and a powerul slam to beat off all comers". Martinas Dutch trainer Rudi van Yerkoff said that her recent form was blistering, "Martina may not win the Open but she won't give in until the last opponent has been beaten off". He also said that although winning the open wasn't a target it was "certainly something worth aiming at".

Martina has recently been quoted as saying that "what matters at end of the day, is whats in my Mothers trophy rewm (sic) at the end of the Grand Slam"