202 Childhood Memories

Here is Martys list of Childhood Memories.

1. Finding bits of ripped up porn mags
2. Billy don't be a hero
3. Joyce McKinney kidnapping a mormon priest
4. Notting hill carnival riots
5. Mass picketing
6. Jenny Handley's erect nipples on Magpie
7. Percy Thrower crying on seeing the vandalism to the Blue Peter garden
8. Orange Adidas T-shirts
9. Arguing who was the fittest in Charlies Angels
10. Baccara's 'Yes, sir I can boogie'
11. The Baader Meinhoff terrorist gang
12. Pretending you were sexually active aged 12
13. Being afraid of skinheads
14. Haranguing teachers in town on Saturdays
15. Teachers clocking you in the showers
16. Eric Morley's Miss world
17. Power cuts and the three day week
18. Aldo Moro's body in the boot of a car
19. Party 4s and Party 7s
20. Pomagne
21. Norman Scott's sad face
22. 'Cowhorn' and 'Apehanger' handlebars
23. Seaties
24. Referring to homosexuals as 'sams'
25. Blackjacks and parma violets
26. Coloured vinyl
27. Cup final 'It's a knockout'
28. The smell of fear at football matches
29. Catties
30. Sea dogs, Flemings and Brutus cords
31. Vesta meals
32. Coalmen
33. Mr. Whippy
34. Jim Callaghan singing 'there was I waiting at the church' at the labour party conference
35. Holidays in the rain
36. Holidays in the sun (at other peoples misery)
37. Yamaha FS1E's
38. Lots of kids dying in motorbike accidents
39. White dog turds
40. Airfix model making leading to solvent abuse
41. Dick Emery and Mike Yarwood being Britains most popular light entertainers
42. Ice on the insides of the windows in the morning
43. Doing papers
44. Being scared of ghosts
45. Making people dance by throwing stones
46. 'Adidas gym' the first cool trainer
47. Reggae icon Brinsley Ford as token black kid in the double-deckers
48. Trying to see the knickers of attractive female teachers
49. The un-cool nature of carrying a school bag with two straps
50. Making 'genies' by dismantling fireworks
51. The 'bogey-up-the-pipe' - another pyrotechnic prank
52. Someone saying 'fuck' on Nationwide and Michael Barratt apologising
53. Attempting to smoke cinnamon
54. Discovering the sweetly-scented nature of girls
55. Scrumping
56. ShopliftingSunuteo teams
57. The legend that is Sgt. Wilson
58. Everton merely being bad
59. The anti-nazi league demonstrating in Neston
60. Lord Mountbatten's slippers breaking the world water speed record of Donald Campbells underpants
61. Having footballs confiscated by irate neighbours
62. Experimenting with drinking mild, aged 16
63. The rumble in the jungle
64. Death race 2000 and pensioners being worth 15 points
65. Stylophones
66. School 'cross-country' runs through the council estate
67. Glug, glug, glug, RIMSKY KORSAKOFF, OW, OW, OW, it's frothy man !
68. Trade union leaders being celebrities
69. Two houses sharing the same telephone line
70. Gas at the dentists
74. The smell of plasticine
75. John Stonehouse's keks on the beach
76. Worrying about the possibility albeit remote, that cybermen were lurking upstairs
77. Reginald Bosanquet
78. Robert Mugabe and Joshua Nkomo's bitter rivalry
79. Questioning the authenticity of the facts of life
80. Bits of curtain sewn into your keks to make improbable loon pants
81. 'Wacko' the child abuse based situation comedy
82. Attempting to repair plastic footballs with a soldering iron
83. The Harlem globetrotters
84. The glorious dawn of punk rock
85. Getting a 'stiffy' whilst watching the womens swimming on Grandstand
86. A pre-charlie Frank Bough
87. Orange carpet and vinyl wallpaper
88. Terry Scott's curly-wurly advert
89. The Bill Grundy interview
90. The streaking craze and Ray Stevens humourous song
91. Saturday night fever and lessons in disco dancing
92. Celebrating the demise of platform shoes
93. Ronny Radford and the 'parka goal'
94. Great big pans of scouse
95. Regarding rice as foreign food
96. Old pram wheels being much sought after
97. Fat kids and their life of hell
98. Off ground tick
99. The undersea world of Jacques Cousteau
100. Being hit on the thigh by a powerfully struck football in sub-zero temperatures
101. Rich kids going to Spain with their parents
102. Evel Kneivel and Eddie Kidd
103. Dens
104. Lord Lucan's comedy muzzy
105. Andy King being thrown off the Goodison pitch by a copper whilst being interviewed
106. Silkies
107. Max Boyce and his stupid fuckin' leek
10 8. Lily the pink
109. The Morecambe and Wise Christmas show
110. Falling in love with Anna Ford (a love which has stood the test of time)
111. British mercenaries in Angola
112. El Salvador and Honduras going to war over a world cup qualifier
113. Kung fu
114. Cowering in silence as one of your mates was slippered by the games teacher (with a piece of metal stuck in the slipper).
115. Hanging around outside an off licence and asking grown men to buy cans of beer for you.
116. Collecting frog spawn
117. Tying bangers to the legs of frogs.
118. Inflating frogs by sticking drinking straws up their arses
119. Drinking stream water and then spending 3 days being sick
120. Throwing empty aerosol cans onto bonfires on bommy night.
121. Being shot at by your brother with a .177 air rifle.
122. Being harangued by your Dads neighbour on New Years Eve because you couldn't play a musical instrument.
123. Newcastle Brown Ale.
124. Being thrown out of the pub for being too young.
125. The barman saying 'two cokes ?' as you walk into the pub with your mate
126. Being scared of putting your legs over the edge of the bed and shouting 'Grab Em'.
127. Rolling across car bonnets like Starsky and Hutch
128. Stuart Hall's infectious laugh
129. Putting stones inside snowballs
130. 100 lines and detention
131. K-tel compilations and Ronco labour saving devices
132. Sanyo music centres
133. A horse called Sanyo music centre
134. A man called horse
135. Magnifying glasses being used for burning things (insects, people etc.)
136. Being amazed that wasps can still live after being cut in half
137. Playing 'splits' with a penknife
138. Inducing fainting
139. Late developers being ridiculed for their lack of pubic hair
140. Early developers being ridiculed for their abundance of pubic hair
141. Charging up school seats with static in order to electrocute the next user
142. Noel Edmonds killing a viewer
143. Hot wheels and Corgi rockets
144. Battling tops and raving bonkers
145. We had joy, we had fun, we had (a.n. other) on the run, but the fun didn't last 'cos the bastard ran too fast.
146. Using the lathe in a woodwork class to set a piece of wood on fire by friction
147. John Lydon shaking hands and saying 'pleased to meet me' when introduced to The Monks on Pop Quiz
148. Anne Nightingale playing Star Star by the Rolling Stones without realising it contained rude words
149. 'If it aint Stiff it aint worth a fuck' badges
150. Eating chewing gum off the pavement
151. Jumping down the stairs wearing a home-made Batman cape
152. Sharpening lolly ice sticks on the pavement to make daggers
153. Lots of unsuccessful methods for hardening conkers
154. Loss of eyebrows due to unsuccessfully attempting a fire-eating trick using a cigarette lighter
155. Nicking empty lemonade bottles from the back of the pub in order to get the refunds from the paper shop
156. Lighting farts and melting your nylon undies
157. Butterscotch flavoured Angel Delight
158. Spacehoppers
159. 50 000 be-kilted Scotsmen stealing the Wembley pitch
160. Idi Amin and 'Amin de mood' T-shirts
161. The 'backing Britain' campaign
162. 'One and one is one' by Medicine Head (but Dad, it isn't !)
163. Bazooka Joe - germolene flavoured bubble gum
164. Brian Clough's outrageous demeanour
165. The 'Whizzer and Chips' and other similar publications
166. Snake belts and tankies
167. The Ford Anglia
168. The drinking of Mateus Rose being considered middle class
169. Always being one short of having a complete coin/card/sticker collection
170. Climbing trees and occasionally falling down them
171. 'Jigmap' jigsaws
172. Red Robbo and his hilarious confrontations with Michael Edwards, boss of British Leyland
173. Getting a parachute for your Action Man and then getting him wrapped round the telegraph wires
174. Stone fights
175. Enoch Powell jokes
176. The Aztec chocolate bar and 'feed aztecs to me' free badges
177. Policemen saying, 'what are you up to lads ?'
178. Playing with mercury
179. Footy boots with swivel studs
180. Footy boots with side laces
181. Getting a feather cut at the barbers
182. Visiting old people and being repulsed by the whiff of decay
183. Your mum and dad having a night out at a Berni Inn to celebrate their anniversary
184. Breaking windows by a variety of means
185. Farting during school assembly
186. Making 'fart machines' from coathangers, elastic bands and washers
187. Deadlegs and Chinese burns
188. Firing chewed up balls of paper onto the ceiling using a bicycle pump or by using the outside of a BIC pen as a pea-shooter.
189. Chalking things on other kids backs without them realising
190. Contracting 'fluid on the knee' after pogoing all night at a party
191. Not knowing what you wanted or being particularly clear on how to get it.
192. Watching starlings feed on puke in the back garden of someones house the morning after a party
193. Getting drunk at a party and listening to 'the sound of Bread' - not the shite band but an actual piece of bread on the turntable
194. Dropping crockery on purpose in the school canteen to illicit a cheer from the rest of the pupils
195. Inheriting the nickname of a teacher from the previous generation of pupils and passing it on to the next, thereby ensuring for example that a Mr. Roberts or a Mr Jones would forever be known as 'Ali Bongo' or 'Taffy'
196. Spot, kerby and amateurs
197. Head injuries and lost teeth resulting from 'slides' on frozen playgrounds and bastard teachers putting salt down as a result
198. The singing ringing tree - the most disturbing TV programme ever broadcast
199. The pile of bricks at the Tate gallery
200. The Rubic cube
201. Being stung by a bee on the head
202. Men on the moon