 |
Saucy Shower Shaggers Soap Slip Shatters Safety Statistics |
Employees at Exxons Research Lab in Abingdon have been unable to surpass their previous record of one million man hours without a lost time accident due to the Soapy carryings on of plumber Bobby Jones and Kitchen worker Fiona McArthur. Bobby and Fiona, both married, have been carrying on an illicit affair for over two years meeting mainly in the safety shower in one of the Research centres award winning laboratories. Other workers at the centre have known of the affair for some time, tipped off by finding used condoms and empty bottles of baby oil in the shower area. Head maintenance and security man Herbert Brown told us that he had set up a surveilance camera to find out what was going on.
"The second night the cameras were rolling the security guards were amazed to hear the strains of Hot Chocolates Full Monty hit "I believe in miracles" from the lab. As the song progressed they saw plumber Jones come into the shower area with McArthur fully clothed. After turning on the showers they then started to strip each other off.The titillated security men let the saucy showerings on continue until the randy plumber had almost reached climax. They then threw the switch for a huge arc lamp they had concealed in the lab. Shocked by suddenly being in the limelight both Jones and McArthur slipped on the soapy floor; Jones broke his arm and McArthur received "severe abrasions" to her bare backside.
An Industrial Tribunal has ruled that although the pair had "fragrantly disregarded existing safety shower rules", they couldn't uphold the suspensions that the pair had received fromExxon. Both Jones and McArthur returned to work this week and released a joint press statement saying;
"Bobby and I know that what we did was wrong, but our love for each other is stronger then ever and after we have divorced our respective partners we will be making a new life with each other"
(Reprinted with Kind Permission from the Abingdon Advertiser 12th September 1998)
martycam@mailcity.com