From: Heather Smith <Heather.Smith@btinternet.com>
To: Sadwank <Sadwank@onelist.com>
Subject: Spice 1999: Best bottom award
Date: Saturday, March 20, 1999 18:44

Sorry for the delay folks!- Always save the best 'till last, well, maybe.

<steps on the stage to applause from some and drunken shouts from the rest>
Hello ladies and gentlemen, and of course SADWANKers! <noisy cheers>
And welcome to the category for which (as Charles said) the setting is
most appropriate, that's right, it's the Best Arse award <cheers and shouts
of 'get on with it'>


First of all let me say what a real pleasure it is to introduce this award,
as I'm assured it brings with it certain.....perks?  Am I right ladies?
<terrifed looks from the companions huddled at the back of the room>

So, let's take a look (so to speak) at the nominees:-

Zoe
Sarah Jane
Nyssa
Peri
Mel

No real surprises there, eh gents?

So, without further ado <shouts of 'thank Uncle Tom for that''>

In reverse order-

Third place goes to- Mel <cat calls and vomiting fits>
Well done!  I hope there wasn't any rigging there Alden.......:-)

Second place goes to- Sarah Jane! Bit of a surprise there, not exactly the
first piece of anatomy that springs to mind in association with Sarah

And finally, the winner is <drum roll> Zoë! <cheers all 'round>
So, no real surprise there then, always been famed for it that one <glares
from the back> so nearly a double whammy for Miss Herriot, piped at the post
for 'Most Spankable Companion', I hope this makes up for it.  So can I
please ask Miss Herriot to take the stage and receive the coveted pair of
gold undies.
<Zoë mounts the stage (mind *out* the gutter please, err, no, on second
thoughts this is SadWank isn't it?)  to much applause>
Well done Miss Herriot, may I be the first to congratulate you, please
receive this award as a small token of our esteem. <slaps Zoe's rear as a
show of appreciation.  Unfortunately Zoë doesn't seem too pleased......>
Thank you Miss Herriot. <through grimace of pain due to toe-stiletto
contact>

ttfn,
Heather.

'There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish'
-The fourth Doctor

If *really* bored, why not visit http://www.angelfire.com/de/adrichome/ ?