Welcome to the Satellite of Pain!

(Sorry, Doctor F, it SEEMED like a good joke at the time...)

In the not too distant future,
Last Monday BC
There were these two people
Not so different from you or me;
They worked as Forrester's employees,
Playing jokes on him and throwing wild sprees.
They did a great job cheering up the place,
But they peeved him *once* too often --
So he shot them into space!

(HEY! GET US DOWN FROM HERE!)

He'll send them crappy fanfics
The worst he can find. (Bwahaha!)
They'll have to sit and read them all
And he'll monitor their minds. (Suffer!)

Now keep in mind they can't control
When the fanfics begin or end. (Sucked in!)
They'll have to maintain their sanity
Without even the help of their friends! (What friends?)

ROLL CALL!

COUNT JIM MORIARTY: "So what if I'm sly, sarcastic and twisted. You can trust me..."

VYVIAN: "All right, I may be a fangirl, but I'm NOT obsessive compulsive!"

If you're wondering how they keep their minds
And other little facts (why?)
Then repeat to yourself:
"It's just a fic.
I really should just relax!"
On MYSTERY BADFIC THEATER 3000!

Warning! Warning!

We feel it is our duty to point something out. Most of the stories MSTed on here have adult content, such as sex, profanity and just plain wrongness. Our MSTings themselves also contain a fair bit of profanity and adult material. So do some of the sounds we've added around the place for you to listen to and put a bit of humour into it. So basically, if you're underage or don't like "that sort of thing", then you won't like this site. You should not proceed any further. Comprendez vouz? Good.

Also, none of the sounds are ours -- we don't make any claim to them, we're only using them. As to the stories, we don't claim them either. Good grief, we don't even WANT to claim them! They belong solely to their respective authors.

Sounds

Our opinion of the fics we get.
An incoming fic and our reaction to it.
Are these fics any good?
The action any sane person should take upon seeing these fics.
Doctor Forrester searching for fics.
Us thanking Doctor Forrester for the lovely fics.

Choose Your Path Of Suffering!

Sour Sailormoon Fanfics and Lemons!

Foul Star Trek Fanfics, both adult and non-adult, from all four series!

Cafe Filthmuck

When we were being sent up to the Satellite of Pain, an entity known only as "Lord Eccles" smuggled aboard the ship, presumably thinking we were headed to something fun and enjoyable. Regrettably for him, this was not the case.

As he is not an offical experimental subject for Doctor Forrester (lucky sod!) he scuttles around the Satellite and has made his own little niche in it. He's even opening up a little section in a corner reserved all for himself. Visit Cafe Filthmuck once it's open for business if you fancy a quick bite of something else. The options that are on the menu are rude and crude, but you will still find them infinitely more appetizing than the MSTed fics. We promise.

Credits

There are many people we'd like to thank. No, not YOU, Forrester! You're in DEEP trouble with us! Now, where were we? Oh yes.

Firstly, we'd like to thank Web Site Number Nine for introducing us to the very concept of MSTing. We'd like to thank them for the realisation that anyone can find a vent for their feelings, and that no one has to suffer an awful fanfic in silence. However, we noticed that most of the adult stories had been removed from Web Site Number Nine, and we wanted to redress the balance.

We'd also like to credit Seth "Lefty" Triggs, whose lovely page and beautiful table-based layout for his MSTings were the basis for us making a similar decision regarding layout.

And last but not least, we'd like to say thank you to that infamous author, Stephen Ratliff. His fanfiction has been mercilessly ripped apart by MSTers for a long time now, and he has taken it all gracefully and like a real gentleman. Good for you, Stephen. But, uhhh... you can stop now, okay?

Contact Moriarty and Vyvian.

Contact Lord Eccles.

Read our NightmareBook
Sign our NightmareBook!